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Hi All,
I've been reading the post a lot and have finally come to write my own.
I'm currently going through further difficulties with my ex-partner with regards to contact. I left my ex in May 2012, she is the mother of my two children (Son, 3 & Daughter, 2).
Last year she stopped contact for 5 months, following false allegations regarding care of the children. She also made false allegations of domestic violence whilst dropping the children off prior to stopping contact, for which I was arrested and spent 13 hours in a police cell before being released without charge.
The court hearing finally started in December last year - and I started to see my children again. The order was finalised in early June this year and things went well for a while. During this time, I got together with my now partner - an old friend from school who already has two daughters of her own from her previous relationship. We were due to all go camping on the August bank holiday weekend, but in the week leading up to this, my ex accused me of letting my children play on a street unattended, speak to strangers, jump off a bunk bed and finally jump off the sofa resulting in my son having a large lump on his back. None of which was true. She hadn't asked if any of these had happened, just bluntly messaged to state 'I can't believe you've let them play on a street on their own', and '(Son) says he jumped off your settee'. I calmly explained that none of these events had occurred, but she then refused contact due to concerns over their wellbeing when in my care.
I was heartbroken, as I'm sure my children would have been as they were looking forward to camping so much. They love it, and were particularly excited to be going with my partner and her daughters too.
Since then (to cut a long story as short as possible), she re-allowed contact 3 and a half weeks later, but only after my acting solicitor had threatened to claim all court costs back on her. She then decided that during the week she and the children would be living at her mothers, 25 miles from my workplace, and that if I couldn't get there for the agreed 5 o'clock then I couldn't have them. Although at the weekends she'll be living at her house, in the town next to mine.
My partner and I have recently moved into a house together - this appears to have annoyed her even more so.
She's basically trying to make my life as hard as possible. She's sent text messages to my new partner claiming I'm still sleeping with my ex, which my partner completely disbelieves, but the intent to disrupt my relationship is there.
My current contact is 2 hours on a Tuesday, 2 hours on a Thursday. One week Fri 4pm - Sun 11am, and on the alternate week Sun 10am-4pm.
I want to change the midweek visits to one overnight stay on a Wednesday, where I collect them from nursery when I finish work and drop them off there the morning after.
Due to all kinds of allegations, from domestic violence, assault, threatening behaviour and more... I have been taking along a family member with me for the past 3 few collections, which as much as they don't mind and are happy to help, it can be a pain them also.
On my return to court in the coming weeks to have the court order amended, I want to request that the children are collected and dropped off from a nearby contact centre. I want to have the minimal possible contact with their mother.
Has anyone been in a situation like this before? And what was the outcome please?
Thanks
Mark
Hi wow she really is miffed with you, I mean, how dare you move on with your life !
Why did she have your partners number I have always found even if on good terms its best to keep certain numbers and info private that way it cant be sued as ammunition .
So have you actually got a court order for the said times, . I have found its best to pick up and drop off at schools etc that way no contact with an ex. Shame about the holiday was a holiday on the contact order. My son has the same problems he has to meet in the car park near her house not the house and we went with him for a few months as she was doing the same saying he was being abusive , to be honest even now things are supposed to be sorted she still controls, because she is the Mother
Wow - that's a lot of jealousy from your ex. I would suggest that your partner blocks your ex's number, both calls and texts (depends on her phone) and buy a cheap mobile for communications with your ex so that you decide when you communicate, otherwise she is going to keep trying to chip away at your new relationship.
Thanks guys,
Yes there does appear to be a large dose of jealousy behind it all, however my only concern is for my children and they shouldn't be getting mixed up in it all and her using them as a weapon in her mindless games.
I'd be more than happy to collect them from nursery, however I'd still need to drop them off and have contact with her there. I'll discuss the issues when it returns to court, as they now have my re-application and I'm just waiting for a date to be set.
Ideally, an overnight stop would prevent any contact between the two of us during the week, as I could pick them up from nursery on a Wednesday night and drop them off there on a Thursday morning.
I'm lucky to be with someone who understands exactly what she's like. I've been open and honest with my new partner from the off, as I do believe there'll be more things my ex will attempt to try and prevent any happiness, so I thought it was better to prepare her for it.
Hi
please be careful when you are in court with regards it being better for the children if you had no contact with the Mum as on my sons caffcass report they said they had grave concerns over the lack of communication with regard's the parents not speaking. This was my sons exs doing he was more then willing to speak, they had to do a communication book and after filling it in once we never saw it again. They went to mediation and his ex admitted she was being childish and things were fine for a few visits but shes playing games again. I agree with you and the less contact you have with your ex the better but the courts think differently
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