Hello! I'm new to this. I've been reading the forum all day today and found some really helpful advice. Thank you!
My husband took his ex partner to court in May in order to see his children and was granted a child arrangement order. It is pretty standard and we are happy with it. It took nearly two years and we were so happy it was all over and my husband was going to be able to see his children regularly.
One of the things decided in the court order is that the mother will take the children to the train station of the town we live in on Fridays and the father will take them back on Sundays. Both exchanges were taking place in train stations and it was running smoothly until a few days ago when she informed him that she is not going to be taking the children to us anymore and if he wants to see them , he will have to do both journeys. She stated this is because she has been diagnosed with anxiety and also because she cannot afford it as she has changed jobs since May and has taken a pay cut. We live 30min on the train away from her and it costs £50 a month.
My husband was happy to help out and swap days or let me pick up the kids when I'm able to lessen her anxiety which is apparently caused by seeing him, but she is being adamant that she is not bringing the children anymore , which is of course a breach of the court order. My husband told her that she will have to apply to vary the court order, because it is not possible for him to be doing both journeys for the next 10+ years.
What advice would you give? He is due to have the kids in 6 days and is not sure on how best to proceed about this.
hi,
is your husband paying child maintenance through CMS? if so, he may be able to claim for the travel expenses. they let people claim for fuel if driving costs £10 and above every week to collect/drop kids. so may apply to train fares.
my ex lives 30 mins away. i do all the driving to pick up and drop kids. she would have no interest in helping anyway. so the less involvement i have with her, the better. if i were you i would pick up and drop kids. i don't think it's worth going back to court to make her stick to this, when there's high chance she will change her mind in future again.
Hello!
Thank you for the reply.
As much as we are willing to be flexible, we are starting a family , and there will be days where I will be at work meaning my husband will have to do the journey and take our baby with him. Also in the court order it states the mother needs to take the children to see the father, in order for them to see that she is supporting and welcoming their relationship. We are happy to help her when we can, but doing both journeys all the time would have a big impact on our lives and we want to avoid it if possible.
And no, he doesn't pay her through CMS , he transfers the money straight to her every month.
as an aside, he needs to make sure that the transfer clearly says "Child Maintenance" in the reference, so it's clear what this is, if she does go via CMS in the future.
I would take his ex back to court for breaching court order c79 form it is. In the meantime you would probably have to do both journeys as you would would risk not seeing his child until you are due in court. before you do submit c79 I would try first to speak to ex and say the court has ordered that you do half the journey and this would be a breach and is unreasonable as you are meant to be promoting a relationship with his father and facilitating contact as ordered by the family court. I don't want to have to enforce this court order as I know there could be serious repercussions .
If you don't enforce you are after a 3 or 4 picks up deemed as accepting the situation and likely to have to travel both ways