[Solved] Ex threatens to gain access to the property

personally, I'd get some advice from the citizens advice bureau, but I'd certainly get anything out you don't want her to see or take just as a precaution.

She has obviously had advice. I would suggest that you allow her access to the property while you are present with a witness and she also attends the property with a witness, that way you can be on hand in case she removes something she is not meant to. Or, the other way as we frequently did at work, was ask for a list of items she wants.

Hi,

Here is some sound advice i can give:

Ensure that you are very polite regarding this issue, but request that she lets you know a date and certain time and you can take a witness with you. She is correct, she can gain access to the property but must leave it secure when she does leave.

If she is unwilling to give one, then you can request a date and time suitable for you. If you are pushy she will likely just show up when she chooses and this will be almost certainly when you are not there.

Do not leave any cash or personal information (even household bills) around. I would advise anything with your name on really. These should be stored at a friend or relatives until such a time that you can be certain she has collected her things.

There are other alternatives that you could make such as request a Police Constable witness the collection of her things and also to ensure that there is no breach of the peace.

Here is a mail that I have drafted in response......If she does gain entry there doesnt seem much that I can do but following this mail it would seem unreasonable for her t do as she says she is going to do....

I communicate only in response to your mail.

You do not provide sufficient notice for me to secure my personal effects and I do not trust you to be in the property unsupervised as during your previous unsupervised visits you have taken items without permission, strewn my personal effects across the floor and rifled my personal documentation.

Given the short notice of your request I make the following suggestions;

1. You provide a list of items which you require and I will drop them off at your address tomorrow at 0930 when I collect our children for they’re vacation to visit extended family in Scotland.
2. You attend the property tomorrow morning prior to me leaving the property at 0915 to collect our children from your address, please provide at least one hours’ notice so that I can arrange for a Police officer to attend.

If you require to collect further possessions or you wish to attend the property after 0915 tomorrow please inform me of a suitable date/time after our return from vacation and provide sufficient notice so that I can make any requested items available or arrange for a Police officer to be in attendance during your visit.

You left the family home of your own volition 17 weeks ago and have had had sufficient time to collect any possessions which you urgently require and have attended the property unsupervised in that time also so I do not understand the late notice or your need to effect entry to the property in during the period that I am on vacation with our children.

Your mail this evening causes me distresses as I am packing for a long journey and if you were to carry out your suggested course of action would cause further distress, be a further gross invasion of my privacy and harassment.

I request that you desist from harassing me any further

I trust that you see my suggested approach as reasonable and request that you respond prior to 0730 tomorrow as any delay to departure can only serve to make our children’s long journey less comfortable and enjoyable.

I urge you to take a similarly reasonable approach to this situation.

Regards,

It so obvious she has done this on the eve of your holiday to cause optimum distress. You will worry whilst you're away now about whether your property is satisfactorily secured and what state you may find it in on your return.

Perhaps you should take photographs of each of the rooms and tell her that you have done so and if on your return you find anything missing or the home disturbed in anyway you will take further action. I don't know if that will make her think twice....

Hi Dave

No 1 ok

No 2 I don't think should be put in, only that once she has access to the property, there is no telling what time she will leave!

it is unreasonable that she expects to be allowed access to the property just on a few hours notice, it should be left until you return from Scotland. And that is what I would make as No. 2. Given the short notice you have had, its unreasonable to expect you to move everything into a locked room or whatever.

I would not suggest that you drop anything off to her before you go to Scotland, you don't know what she wants yet and you could be left carting a humungous wardrobe around to hers! 😆

It's so unreasonable to make these demands the day before you're due to go away with the children, it could be interpreted as disruptive for the children on the eve of their holiday too...you should put that to her as something that she should give consideration to. Maybe call her bluff and tell her you are considering having to postpone taking the children away until this is settled, and if she decides to go ahead with her threats, that you will be bringing it to the courts attention...it's certainly not putting the children's interests first, depriving them of a holiday and prearranged quality time with you.

Thanks for all of the responses.....I have just mailed and delivered a hard copy through her letter box so that at least one is read early in the morning.

NannJane - I like your suggestion of suggesting that I will have to postpone until this is settled and will put that to her in the morning dependant on the response that I recieve.

She is certainly attempting to caus me distress spoilt the quality time that I have with our children. Sadly this is regular at present.

So lets see what the morning brings.

I still have to mail all of this and the other events where she has prevented contact this week to my solicitor so that it is in the bundle and brought to the courts attention.

Madness uter madness.....

Regards,

Dave

It seems that maybe my mail has worked...for the moment anyway.

I have had a response saying to drop her mothers carpet cleaner in the morning.

My solicitor sent a letter a few weeks ago to her saying that we would apply for an injunction if she kept entering the property so I also attached the letter to my mail and hardcopy which I posted through the door.

Time will tell if she does enter and change the locks whilst I am away......

Scotland here we come.....Happy days.....

ahaha...now that you reminded us that your solicitor wrote that letter...she is quite obviously trying to get round all that, but as you put up the fight, she has capitulated!! I suspect that she will have been advised not to break in but dealing with it in the way you have is reasonable, if she does break in, she would be considered the unreasonable one. After all you are not preventing access, just not before you are due to take the children on holiday! She didn't go in last time you were away, I doubt she will this time,I suspect she has ben advised not to! Have a great holiday!!!! 🙂 (That's the main thing!)

Funny how her mother all of a sudden can't do without the carpet cleaner after 17 weeks!

Crisis averted Dave! You and the kids have a wonderful holiday!