[Solved] Fighting a libellous injuction

From the sound of it I would not be surprise if the police visits were friends of the new boyfriend and not official at all. I am very surprised that you have been visited so many times and not been arrested if you had breached the Injunction! I would like to say you should write to the Chief Commissioner, but this is so difficult to prove and you could be opening up a can of worms!!!

I would normally suggest mediation but as she is alleging violence, that is not recommended. In the injunction proceedings did you not tell the Court that the violence was directed at you? Did you ever call the police on her? Did you fight the time the injunction proceedings were going on? I think it would be too expensive for you to try an appeal especially after all this time

it is a shame that your parents are under stress from the handovers, I am assuming from what you say that you no longer have friends that she would trust with a hand over?

However if you are having contact regularly/pretty regularly I don't think it is worth the time and expense at the moment of going to Court.

Hi Enyamachaela,

Thanks for replying.

Unfortunately I wasn't involved in the injuction proceedings - I knew nothing about it until someone turned up at my door and served me with it, telling me I could no longer collect or drop off my daughter or go anywhere near the house. I was also instructed that I could only contact my ex through a new mobile number that he gave me and only about contact with my daughter.
My ex boasted to my parents that she'd had to pay £1500 and because she'd told them that she was scared of me, they issued the injunction without even hearing from me.

As you can imagine, I was livid. But she'd immediately put me in a bind - I couldn't even get angry and do a bit of shouting as that's what she'd used as the reason for the injunction.

You've pretty much summed up my situation. Going to court could make things worse, especially if I push the police harassment thing and the fact that the allegations in the injuction document are complete lies and I don't want to risk her pulling some other crazy stunt, supported by the feminist legal system or bent coppers.

I won't accept my daughter being handed over by anyone else than our parents - her friends are far from trustworthy (they're all still children, despite being in their 30s) and I wouldn't dare bring any of my friends into this.

I've told my ex through texts that I want her to drop my daughter and collect her from mine as the libellous injunction does not dictate that that cannot happen.
She doesn't want to and seems irked that her control of the situation has been scuppered by the change in heart of my parents. However, she's not moving on it and with the weekend looming I'm worried that she'll just stop me seeing my daughter or send me a text telling me to pick her up from some random person's house.

I think I've resolved that I need to go back to the solicitor, no matter how much it bankrupts me, and push for the psychological harassment (through police harassment, libellous injunction, controlling mine and my daughter's lives through her actions, bullying texts, rumours spread through friendship circles) to be brought to an end.
I'm also going to push for the injunction to be dismissed, even though it ends in 5 months - I want it on record that it should never have been issued and has caused more damage than it was supposedly there to prevent.

However I still feel stuck and controlled by my ex. She knows I can't afford to fight her, she knows she can do what she likes to me and I can't react for fear of the goons in fancy dress visiting me again, she knows she can dictate exactly when I see my daughter and I have little room to give my opinion.

Just a thought on dropping your daughter off at her house….when you have to take your daughter back phone the police and inform them of your intention to drop you daughter off at her house as per the agreement you and you ex has. Ask for them to make someone available as you’re scared of her phoning them due to all the previous false allegations shes made.
Tell them you’re scared of a “breach of the peace”.

I used this one quite a few years ago following my ex trying to claim I was harassing her….she later lied (again) in court saying that she’d called the police out on me that time….unfortunately for me the police records/notes hadn’t come through in time for that hearing….i was forced to take an “undertaking to the court” to say I would not go within 100Mtrs of the house!
When the police records/notes came through they clearly showed that I had phoned them and was calm and polite the whole time I was there! I used this in the “Finding of Fact” hearing later in the year to prove my ex a deceptive person and more importantly a liar!

Since then I’ve never put myself in to a position where its her word against mine! Collection and drop off’s (when they take place!) are all done at a local neutral public place with CCTV so I can protect myself if needed.

As the previous reply…..the Police Commissioner should be there to complain to, however even with all the proof and police notes, finding of fact judgement etc… the police wouldn’t reverse the verbal harassment warning they gave me based on my ex’s lies!
I will be revisiting that one again once I’ve got full contact with my little one again!

Hi
Sorry but as you are getting regular contact I wouldn’t rock the boat so to speak. I know how frustrating it must be with all the lies and false allegations but I would really keep away and play the game
Have you a new relationship yet? Have you a mutual friend who could help out. When does your Daughter start school as this will make things a lot easier , you can pick up from school and take to school Monday mornings this way you won’t need to see your ex , you need to protect yourself from her wild allegations
How about hand over in a whacky play area via your parents or hers
Reading between the lines its coming across you are still not accepting she has moved on calling him a knob etc. ! , I know she was wrong how she has done this but it’s now time for you to move on and let them get on with it. The last thing you want
is for contact to be stopped all together , please be careful, my son was in a similar position , he did hand over in a local car park with a friend of hers now its her present boyfriend , what matters is the contact not who hands over , my advise is to not have any contact with her at all ...

It sounds as though Courts are granting Injunctions out of hand, without even hearing from you!! It used to be that an Interim Injunction is granted and then you are ordered to attend court, for the Court to hear you! That still with my local courts!

I agree with Ak you don't want to rock the boat as contact is taking place, don't forget that could be something they are thinking of ...thatif they harass you enough, you will give up!

I think I would ask your parents to seriously reconsider their opinion, after all it is their grand-daughter we are talking about, perhaps they could just continue for another couple of months and then you can collect from school.

Have as little communication with her as possible too. Whilst you have a mobile number to contact her, I wouldn't suggest you use it unless strictly necessary as overuse of it could be classed as harassment too 🙂

I would request the attendance of the Police at handover, stating you don't want to be accused of breaching the Order, or let hand over take place at or near the Police Station , that will really scupper them and their antics.

If the police are acting independently as a favour, the visits won't be logged, so it would be fairly straightforward for the Independent Police Complaints authority to check this. If they are acting off their own agenda whilst in uniform then you do have redress. I would say complain if you've done nothing wrong, and then if they did continue their harassment or arrest you your complaint is already in the system. Don't let them get away with this or be held to ransom by them using contact with your kids as a weapon.

I would also think about recording them on your phone, most have a video recording facility. Or get a friend or family member to,attend with you as a witness.

Like NJ, I would advise you contact the IPCC rather than the police force and explain due to conflicts of interests by the police force you would like them to investigate - as the usual protocol is the cops check it out internally.

Then find out the basis of each of these allegations. Presumably if they come round, someone has resported it. There should be documented evidence that the ex called them. If not it enhances the likelihood that bellend has been inappropriately abusing his power which should be investigated.

Did you get the number of the officers who came to see you?

Get theyre lapel numbers so you can report them and identify them.

check your PM....

Dave

All,

Thanks for taking the time to read and reply, your advice is much appreciated.

To confirm a couple of points:
Yes, the injunction was granted with just a wad of cash and her word - it was already in force by the time the bloke turned up at my house with it. I knew nothing about it and had no way of speaking out about it. Of course, both our families knew about it quickly and all of her friends (who act as her feminist, single-mum sounding board) and so It feels like the whole world is thinking and gossiping about what I might have done and how it must be serious for the court to do that - and yet it's all a pack of lies. In fact, all of the violence referred to in it was carried out by her on me!

As for the police, it's happened three times now - once a lone female, twice a pair of males, five different coppers in all. The last pair were trying to be officious but because I was standing up to them and not accepting being spoken to like a child they turned and became unprofessional and suggested I was lucky to even see my daughter.

Myself, my ex and my parents live within a small village, no more than 300m between all three of us. My ex forced my parents into the handover by naming them in the injunction as the party that should do it.
It is simple with them doing it and least stressful on my daughter but as my ex's house is central, passing between us usually ends up with me passing her house. In fact, I can't get to mine without passing hers.
She's currently trying to get me to drive into our local town to pick my daughter up from her random and dubious relatives but I'm not having any of it. I'm not going to let this degenerate into a farcical handover routine when we live so close.
I've asked my ex to do the handover herself at mine as there's nothing in the injunction that stops that, but she's refusing.
So at the moment I have the upper hand morally as I'm requesting the easiest situation for my daughter where she's trying to save face.
She even told me today that if I wasn't happy with anything she's arranged I can always forego seeing my daughter and she'll pass her to a relative for the weekend, which of course has riled me.

Anyway, regardless of the farce she's creating, my real goal is to overturn this cloud of lies and harassment hanging over me - if the fancy dress dickheads visits have been genuine, then on paper I have an injunction against me saying I'm violent (I not sure taking seven left hooks to the face and running away from a 10" kitchen knife is violent, but anyway) and police records stating that I've breached the injunction several times. All of which is based around lies, twisted truths and malicious attempts to get me into trouble.

I can't really afford a solicitor (not for more than a few letters and consultations anyway) and really don't want to risk rocking the boat - she's capable of trying all sorts to 'punish' me or make herself look squeaky clean and the last thing I want is for her to deprive my daughter of seeing her dad as regularly as she does.

As I don't know what I can do, I feel like I'm totally at her mercy - she's forced all of this on me, lied about me, has the 'legal' system geared up against me and could literally ruin me at any point.
I'm currently studying for a second degree, in astrophysics and her actions are having a serious affect on my ability to concentrate - I've failed the latest course through not being able to pick a book up due to insomnia and worry.

I guess my only option is to get to my solicitor and get it all down in writing, despite the cost.

I do feel for you, my son has just dropped out of Uni due to the ongoing battle he has with his sons mother, and he has a residence order! He like you hasn't been able to concentrate or focus. His first year was marred by the first court case for custody where my son was successful, but the court case and stress meant he had slipped behind. Thinking it was sorted he went back to do his first year again ....but he has had to go back to court and is currently fighting to stop unsupervised contact with the mother....all sorts of risks to his son from the mother, from drugs to violence, but it doesn't look good as at the moment they are siding with the mother! The damage is done though and regrettably my son has had to leave Uni....it's so unfair!

I still think you should fight this by going to the police complaints authority, they will investigate and they are independent. The other thing you could do would be to ask a solicitor to write to the police and cite harassment. List each time they have harassed you and tell them that it is harassment as you haven't breached the injunction and if it continues you will take matters further.