[Solved] hi need advice please

Hi

I'll move this to the legal thread shortly. If your ex isn't taking any notice of you saying that he's got to stay away, then I would say you have little choice other than to involve children's services, and likely to be far more effective and much quicker than anything you could achieve in court.

Hi Dank and welcome 🙂

I agree with actd...if they are both ignoring your concerns and there are drugs involved in the mix, then aside from court your only option is to speak to social services....I appreciate that you don't want to involve them in your sons life but your options are limited and its really all about your sons safety and well being.

If you have serious concerns you might think about not returning him to his mother and going for full custody, that would however involve going to court and social services would be involved then anyway... Why don't you have a chat with them and see what they have to say at least then if you do have to escalate the situation your concerns will be on record....if you do contact them ask them to log your call and your concerns.

thanks for the fast replys and sorry i didnt realise there was a legal section on here.

my concern with getting social services involved lies here- as many arguments and fall outs iv had with his mother over recent years, she has threatened but never followed up not allowing me to see my son. i feel as if i do get them involved she may try stop me seening him, or the social services may only let my have my son 2 nights aweek when currently i have him 3 or 4 which is brilliaint for me but i work different days so i have him when i can and her argument may be that my having him on random days is unstable. basical and sorry for going on abit but im just worried about messing up my days and nights i do get with my son.

The problem is dank that she is pretty much holding you to ransom - ultimately, you need to do what it best for your son, and I would say that his safety overrides everything else - if she does threaten to withhold access, then I'd be looking for a contact order very fast, or as NJ says, looking at the option of applying for residence.

I am really surprised that Childrens Services haven't contacted you as well. Normally when children of various parties are involved with a partner of dubious means !(in this case the ex new partner) Child Protection Meetings are held when all parents are notified and asked to attend.

As ACTD has said, basically she is holding your son to ransom, your son's safety is of paramount importance. You must look for a Contact Order or Residence Order. Ideally, you should be contacting Childrens Services and asking what is going on in respect of your son...it may be that she has told them she does not know who or where you are....

Childrens Services do not just get involved with the offender's children, they get involved with ALL the children.
Childrns Services will not stop you seeing your children, and will fit in with your work rota too.