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Hi my name is Don,I am currently planning to retain a solicitor,I'm having major difficulties with getting more access to two of my younger children 10 year old girl and a 12 year old boy,my third child a 15 year girl lives with me.My story is very long, at the moment I am getting my other two children every second weekend.my teenage daughter live's with me,and she has some major issues with her mother which are ongoing.I have been trying to sort that out with local Cahms,my daughter self harms,even though I have been trying to communicate with her mother it has taken a lot time for her to listen,she is beginning to listen,now she has suddenly decided my other two children should not stay in my house and basically be kept away from my daughter their sibling I think this the wrong way to do this as my daughter will feel bad about it.
I believe my ex wife is blaming me for my daughter's issues,and as a result of her hatred of me following our divorce nearly two years ago, and is using this tool as a reason to restricte my access even further,I am already trying to get more access but this will make it worse.My ex wife has a new man living with her and my two children, his influence is being allowed to become more and more relevant in everything,to the extent my ex wife took my ten year old daughter out of her primary school of 6 years without dicussing it with me.He was consulted of course.I feel I am becoming more and more of a periphal figure in my two younger childrens lives,and my 15 year old is seen as the problem child my problem I have caused, I will be punished with my daughter,My daughter left home a year ago to live with me as she could not live with her mother any more.I care totally for my 15 year old.
The question I have if I go to court do you think I will win more access.I am sorry this is such a long story this is the shortest version I can get. I have not retained a solicitor yet, any advice you have would be helpful.If any other fathers have a similar experience I would appreciate their feedback.I love my children.
Hi Don
Have you tried mediation? The courts like to see that all other avenues have been exhausted before any court intervention. From what you say, regular access has been achieved over a period of time, and this bodes well for reaching agreement, with the help of a trained mediator.
I feel for you and your daughter, I have a son who's had serious mental health issues since his teenage years,...its heartbreaking to see them suffer. It is important for you both to maintain family ties, and for the relationship between your daughter and her siblings to be maintained. Try to understand your ex's fears for her younger children and her misplaced blame on you....I feel that communication may well be the key here, another reason why Mediation would be beneficial. If you go for Mediation and it doesnt work, at least you can say you tried.
Hi Don
Realistically, if you are getting contact every second week, I'm not sure that going to court is going to increase this by any significant amount as the court would expect that your ex also has weekend with your children. As nannyjane says above, I think at this stage, mediation is going to be the best first step to see if there is any sensible way forward.
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