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Hi,
I have a 6 year old daughter whom I have struggled to get access to over the past 4 years. I am refused by the mother for many unforeseen reasons. One of which is that it is too difficult letting me into my Daughters life as the Mother still has lots of feelings for me.
I have tried many times over the past 4 years to get access and maintain access to my Daughter, Tilleigh. Every time an arrangement is made with the mother, it seems to work fine for the first few weeks, but seems to go sour very quickly (from her side) and then I am back to square one with being refused access. It is almost as if her mother is trying everything she can to get rid of me. She has also triesd to financially ruin me by lying to the CSA and causing me to pay back payments which I didn't owe. i used to pay cash as I had an agreement with the Mother, but now realise that I shot myself in the foot because I have no way of proving this. So ultimately, I have to pay a large amount of money to the CSA.
To be completely honest, I dont really care about the financial side of things. I just want to have access to my daughter. i have never been in this situation before, and really dont know where to start. I want to have my daughter as much as i can and to be given the chance to be the Dad I long for. I want to gain access to my daughter and have the security that it won't be taking away from me a few weeks later, because of a reason her mother decides.
Basically, I asking how I get a court to grant me parental access to my daughter and have it put into place so her mother can't refuse me out of spite?
I have missed so much time with my daughter and dont want to miss another second if it can be so. Where do I start?
you need to get in contact with a solicitor as soon as possible and ask for a contact hearing. my ex is doing the exact same thing. we broke up last year and i was able to have my son every weekend. we got back together but it didnt last. this time because she knows i wont have her back as im moving on and will probably end up in a new relationship soo nshe has stopped all access so im going to court this month to get my contact back and to make sure she cant stop it. all because she wants to get me back and cant do it herself because she has no [censored] and needs to use out son
Thank you for your reply. Yes, it sounds like we have been tarnished with the same brush. My daughter is used as a weapon to get to me....and yes, it works. Do you happen to know the cost involved with a contact hearing? I have a financial problem with the CSA deducting a large amount of money from my salary each month, which barely leaves me with my rent. :boohoo:
i dont know if they take that into account. i also know the laws are different in northern ireland than england and, wales and scotland. im waiting to hear from my solicitor in the nxt half hour about wether ive got legal aid or not, and im working at the minute aswell. If you cant afford it you can alway represent yourself. but ill let you know what my solicitor says in the next half hour
Really appreciate it. Thank you. Up until now I have felt so alone in this matter without a clue where to turn. in fact i know I'm going to feel alone until my daughter is back in my life where she belongs. Yes please let me know when you do. I sincerley thank you.
Also, I have read into sending a PR form as the first point of call, to the mother. Apparently this is easily downloaded, then is to be filled in and posted. Are you awre of this? ....and if so, do you know where I can get this PR form? Google was less than helpful. :unsure:
yes buddie im aware of this my solicitor informed me of this. also i was informed because i was living with my son since birth and also have looked after him while my ex went away for weekends with family, i automatically have right to contact. Now her solicitor must have made her aware of this as she filed a non molestation order on the grounds that i was controlling and mentally abused her but there was no mention of domestic violence. (bit rich coming from someone that has a masters in psychology). anyway just spoke to my solicitor and i have recieved legal aid for the non mol. My solicitor has rang her solicitor twice and send 2 letters informing them that i want contact. They havnt replied so next step is filing for a court date for contact. My solicitor has told me they have to wait 7days on her solicitor contacting them back before they can file for legal aid so ill let you no how it goes once i find out myself
Exactly that. i was with the mother from day 1. through the pregnancy, at the labour and for the 1st year of my daughter's life. Then we went our seperate ways, and I continued to see my daughter on and off for the next year (on and off from her doing) I am on the birth certificate...I was present when she was registered.....but apparently all this means nothing. My daughter is being used as a tool. Its not fair on me.....and more importantly, my daughter.
It makes me feel physically sick that there are so many Fathers/Mothers who don't want the responsibility and do everything to avoid it. But when it comes to people like us who want to do everything we can to be there for our children, but have very little help from the system in reaching this goal. Who says its a mans world??
Yes, please keep me informed as this is the most i have found out about the situation in the time I have been trying. In the meantime, i wish you the best of luck in your case, and hope for a speedy outcome.
The Stickies at the top of this section will be a great assistance to you in your battle.
Also a couple of links for you:
http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/ < These people can offer you FREE legal advice on family law matters....well worth a chat with them if you are worried about anything specific that you cannot find help with from the members on our forum.
http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/mobile/FamilyLawMenu.html < lots of info on cases / case law etc...
http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/mobile/FamilyLawMenu.html#/mobile/stepparentpr.html
First you should try is mediation, the courts won’t consider a contact application unless you can prove mediation has been attempted and has broken down.
Take a read of some of our stories and our reasons for needing the help and great advice from this site members and contributors.
Know that you are not alone in your fight……there are many of us on here still fighting and have fought very bitter, twisted and in some cases pure evil ex’s and we are in some cases beginning to win the battles in others finding new battles to fight.
When it comes to the legal action being needed you may need to prepare yourself for things you never expected, protect yourself from them now by keeping notes, diary of events, record all texts, emails, letters.
Any need for talking with your ex try and do it in writing at least that way you have a physical record of what was said/threats etc… if its face to face verbal then its basically your word against hers!
Try and stay civil, calm and don’t enter in to arguments or conflicts with the ex….if she kicks off let her…walk away and make a note of the event in the diary….don’t give her any ammo.
yea thats what im saying. my solicitor was trying to contact my exs solicitor about contact/mediation. as i said her solicitor isnt replying back to letters or returning calls. so now we are taking it to court. this is the email i just recieved:
We have been trying to telephone you in relation to contact. We have contacted your ex solicitors in respect of contact with your son, we have had no response to our two telephone calls and two pre proceedings letter and have now applied for legal aid. Once we receive legal aid we will then make an application to the court this should take around 7 days..
We confirm that we must send a pre proceedings letter and wait 7 days before we can obtain legal aid.
We further confirm we have now obtained legal aid for your NMO proceedings.
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