Hello,
I am a mother in a position of a father. Me and my ex , never married, we have child (3years old) split up in April. He owns his house, no mortgage. I work fulltime. He doesn't work or work from home. I had to move out to rented house, about 30 minutes of the previous family home. I moved out in October. I proposed by email 50/50 schedule alternating weekends which he agreed to and followed for 1 month and half. After that he cut off contact completely. Told me he contacted social services and he was advised to retain our child in the until the matter resolve. Basically false accusations to give him an upper hand. I have send court application. I could have done it straight away as I have prove from health professional about domestic abuse ( controlling and coercive behaviour from his side towards me) I had to mention it in the application. I was worried for some time that he might actually do something like this due to the hatred he carries against me. I was trying to suggest consent order but he never agreed to it. So basically there are allegations from my side and I am certain there will be allegations from his side (about how bad mother I am and how are child is in risk of harm with me) So far social services says it is private matter and preschool is not worried about my parenting. He has withdrawn her from preschool and I have not seen her for 3 weeks so far. Am I right to think that the court won't be able to do interim order after first hearing in this case? From my point of view my child was severely cut off from me and it will have a quite negative impact on her. The first hearing is in 2 months but I can't imagine I won't be able to see her even after that. It is very hard. 50/50 was hard enough for me and this is just a nightmare. I have no idea what to expect from first hearing. Probably not much from what I read. I can't imagine to see my daughter only through contact centres.......why? I haven't done anything wrong, before this happened I was the steady element in her life. This is so wrong and I feel so helpless. Would court even look into his behaviour? I have no contact even on Christmas. I asked him if I can at least call her....he has never responded.
Thank you for any responses.
hi,
sorry to hear you have been having such a difficult time. have you had your safeguarding phone call with cafcass? if they recommend contact in interim, then it's very likely it will be arranged at 1st hearing. feel free to message me if you need further advice.
Hello. Had the caffcass letter. They are listing all the allegations ex raised against me but also telling him off for cutting me completely from child's life and recording her as and using it as evidence. They are recommending section 7 and interim order for me to have a facilitated contact through a friend and phone calls twice a a week. They do not recommend fact finding hearing.
What is the likelihood the fact finding will take place after what caffcass recommended in the first letter? Does it mean I have to wait till final hearing to have overnight with my child or can it happen after section 7 report if it's in my favour?
The allegations ale false. Some of them I can prove they are lie. It was my ex who cut the contact completely using the system against me as many parents do. Even though I was in my child's life on every day basis before that as her mother and after separation I reluctantly suggested 50:50 due to his abusive behaviour against me. I hoped it would stop. I didn't know how the system works here. How can I get overnight contact before final hearing? Is it even possible?
What is the difference between fact finding and final hearing? Do u still present evidence?
Many thanks,
Y
@yuchan hi,
it's good that Cafcass are not recommending fact finding. it would prolong your case and most likely mean you don't have contact with child while it goes on.
when is your first hearing? i think they will allow supervised contact in interim, and after s7 report a gradual plan to have overnights.
Hello.
Thank you for the advice. I feel really burnt out and don't know how would I cope with visitations only for the whole year. She was still comfort nursing when he took her and we had a very strong bond. I agreed 50:50 just for her best interest as I wanted everything to be as peaceful as possible for the sake of our child. It didn't work anyway.
First hearing beginning of march but caffcass is pushing for urgent hearing
Y
I am a dad and been through the same [censored]. I took the 50/50 after months of fighting and I did have first custody of my son. Please don,t give up, sad truth is you can't go against CAFCASS they have full control of family court not you, but if you don't take the 50/50 the fight could go on for years, put in a consent order show the judge and CAFCASS your willing to work with the family court.get a free parenting app and move on with your child. time goes by and you can apply to the court for changes at a later date. and your PR stay intact.
I know this is not want you want to hear but if you fight CAFCASS you will lose, remember you can make small adjustments at the hearing face to face with the judge.....they make the final call... also take to McKenzie friend 100% on your team.
@yuchan I suggest you prepare a position statement for your first hearing. feel free to get in touch if you need advice. I sent you a PM.
i would take the 50/50 right now unless you have real safeguarding concerns u can prove
I suggest you google to find a domestic abuse support service near you and engage with them for support. There are also useful websites such as the RightsofWomen and advicenow.org.uk. It's more difficult as you're not married so don't have home rights. If he gets 50/50 care he won't have to give you any child maintenance
stay strong queen, as a woman who is also a father i support you unconditionally