Hi, my ex has submitted our child’s secondary school admissions without my agreement. I have PR and have emailed several times about this subject. She dismissed my concerns about certain schools and went with her choices. In addition she signed the declarations which states all parents have been informed and are in agreement with the choices. Surely this is not right ?thanks.
Ideally parents should decide together which type of school is best suited for their child.Parents who hold Parental Responsibility, have an equal right and say in which school their child attends. Usually both parents have Parental Responsibility for their child. Mothers have Parental Responsibility automatically and Father’s acquire it by either being named on the child’s birth certificate (after 1 December 2003) or being married to the child’s mother. If you disagree then you can try mediation. Mediation can be flexible and parents can have many sessions to explore various options in a neutral and structured setting with a trained mediator. If appropriate and the child is old enough and you both agree, the child can attend to have their voice heard. A mediation plan or agreement can be drawn up, but this is not legally binding. It is important to note that Mediation is also requirement for parties to attend in many cases before a parent can make an application to the Court.
A parenting plan could be a useful tool and one can be found on the cafcass website. You can adjust this as agreed.
If your issues still cannot be resolved, then as the last recourse would be to file an application under s8 of the Children Act 1989. This allows a parent to make an application to the Family Court for the following:-
Specific Issue Order – this will mean that you can and will be asking the Court to make decisions dealing with something specific, such as the child schooling and which school they should attend or their upbringing.
Prohibited Steps Order – is an Order to stop someone from exercising their Parental Responsibility for a child. A Prohibited Steps Order can therefore be useful for parents who think that the other parent is going to move their child from one school to another without their consent. It is possible to ask a court to make an Order to stop this.
Both of the above Orders can be applied for at the same time, or during an application for a Child Arrangements Order. In applications for a Child Arrangements Order you will be asking the Court to define the arrangements of the children.
In any application, to the Court, parents should consider how the school or change in school will affect their child, and whether there will be a positive or negative impact. This will be a key factor for the Court in determining any decision they make. The court may not necessarily agree with you.
Have you spoken to your child about their wishes? Do you have regular contact with your child?
@champagne sorry for the late reply. I have had court ordered contact for 10 years. My child just says he wants to go where his cousin goes, but it’s a failing school according to Ofsted. We’ve been to court several times over the 10 years and mediation would never work between us. The hassle with my ex has been non stop, she loves drama. I’m now at the point where I rarely say anything anymore, I just try to enjoy the time with my child and to keep my home a place where he can relax and not be questioned all the time, she still phones him when he is in my care to ask him what we are doing, where been, going etc. the school council have given me the list of schools she put on the application, she removed my 2 and kept all the ones she chose, even though one of them will mean 3 buses for him to get home to my house when with me and the failing school. The school council don’t seem bothered that she falsely signed application, which clearly states that everyone who qualifies as a parent under education law is aware of this application and agrees with the content including the names of preferences. I find it all unbelievable, it undermines me as a father and makes her think she is in control of not only my child, but me as well. This is just the tip of the iceberg, 10 years is a long time for non stop drama.
@champagne sorry for the late reply. I have had court ordered contact for 10 years. My child just says he wants to go where his cousin goes, but it’s a failing school according to Ofsted. We’ve been to court several times over the 10 years and mediation would never work between us. The hassle with my ex has been non stop, she loves drama. I’m now at the point where I rarely say anything anymore, I just try to enjoy the time with my child and to keep my home a place where he can relax and not be questioned all the time, she still phones him when he is in my care to ask him what we are doing, where been, going etc. the school council have given me the list of schools she put on the application, she removed my 2 and kept all the ones she chose, even though one of them will mean 3 buses for him to get home to my house when with me and the failing school. The school council don’t seem bothered that she falsely signed application, which clearly states that everyone who qualifies as a parent under education law is aware of this application and agrees with the content including the names of preferences. I find it all unbelievable, it undermines me as a father and makes her think she is in control of not only my child, but me as well. This is just the tip of the iceberg, 10 years is a long time for non stop drama.
Yes, it is a long time and extremely wearing. Its great that you are focused on having a good relationship with your son. It's often the case that what is supposed to happen in theory doesn't go that way in practice and there is little that can be done about it.
@warhammer hi. I can understand your frustrations. Same happened with me, childs high school picked without my knowledge. I could take it to court and complain, but think it would be pointless. Better to accept and get on with life.
@bill337 I’m surprised that the school admissions office don’t take action, considering she signed the declaration confirming that I was in agreement falsely. They did say I could take it to court. We shouldn’t have to put up with it, just to keep the peace. However, I’m sure I will still be blamed if she doesn’t get the first choice school she wants.
Update. My child has been given the school that I had asked my ex to remove from the application, due to the distance away from my home, over one hour away each way, going to be a nightmare. Considering everything in my previous post, School admissions have told me to take the matter to court. Saying that the courts will then decide which school he should go to. In reality does anyone know if the courts would actually do anything about this? Thanks
Hi,
I think its unlikely the courts will do anything, other than advise mother she should have consulted you, and both of you should have made joint decision. I think the risk of going back to court is they may want to reduce your contact with child, given the distance from your home and childs new school. (If child has mid-week overnights with you).
Bill thank you for reply. Now I’m wondering if this was her plan all along. She’s been told off by the courts before for undermining me, not including me in key decisions etc. school admissions told me that the courts would decide on a school for my child, which I thought would take in to consideration both of our addresses and travel arrangements. I will not do anything that could result in me losing contact time with my child. The other option I have is to inform school admissions that she no longer lives at the address on his application. If I do this the application would move from one council to another, but ultimately closer to my address and the actual address where she is now living. I think She should tell them herself and follow the correct process re moving home, but I doubt she will.
That might be a plan. You could express concern about the distance to be travelled from her new address