[Solved] need help about contact order or shared residence

Yes you can ask for either a shared residence order or a contact order, just explain the reasons why you initially applied for a residence order and how the situation has changed...by saying that you don't want to unsettle the children again will hopefully show that you are a caring and considerate parent that only has the children's best interests at heart.

If you go for shared residence I would ask the judge for a defined contact within the order as she is chopping and changing contact all the time. I would also have a contact schedule prepared so that you can put it forward, again it shows that you have thought about the situation and are looking for solutions.

Thank you for your help. I have a number of people telling me I should have the children live with me but I don't want to upset them. I have in place at the moment a prohibition order under section 8 which I did in June so my ex can't change schools or move out of the area with out asking me first as they have changed area and schools so much.
I was going for full residence but thought it would upset my children. My new partner is so angry with my ex as she felt sorry for my son and got him some school trousers as my son told her mum (ex) could not afford them even though I pay 253 pounds a month. I have final hearing in October and its my new partners birthday. I find it hard to understand why my ex does this to me as I love my children with all my heart and would do anything for them.
would it still be ok to change or put in shared residence order or a contact order before the final hearing sorry to bother you but lost with all this legal stuff if you know what I mean. thank you look forward to hearing from you or anybody that can help me

I have a number of people telling me I should have the children live with me but I don't want to upset them. I have in place at the moment a prohibition order under section 8 which I did in June so my ex can't change schools or move out of the area with out asking me first as they have changed area and schools so much.
I was going for full residence but thought it would upset my children. My new partner is so angry with my ex as she felt sorry for my son and got him some school trousers as my son told her mum (ex) could not afford them even though I pay 253 pounds a month. I have final hearing in October and its my new partners birthday. I find it hard to understand why my ex does this to me as I love my children with all my heart and would do anything for them.
would it still be ok to change or put in shared residence order or a contact order before the final hearing.
I am a bit lost with all this legal stuff if you know what I mean. hopefully someone can help me.
look forward to hearing from anybody that can help me..

Does your ex have a solicitor? Have you been asked to write a statement at all?

Circumstances can change during the duration of a case and so I'm sure it would be ok to change what you are asking for to accommodate this. You could write a statement to that effect or a letter to the judge and send it into the court to be filed with the rest of your court papers. If you did this you would need to send a copy to the mother or her solicitor if she has one, and keep a copy for yourself.

Realy need help this is all getting me down. Don't know what to do. Just fedup with my ex and don't know what else to do. Had my children for one night this weekend. I asked the kids when they would like to come next they told me next weekend but my ex had told me kids only want to come for end of the month when I get paid. I feel this is another lie as she has done this before even stopped me from seeing my kids cause she does not get what you wants. Need help what can I do now.
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when you say you don't want to go for residence as it would upset your children - are you sure it would? Being in a stable environment wouldn't be upsetting, certainly compared to being moved around a lot.

I noticed you have an identical post to this one in the child maintenance section that has received responses...it might be better to stick with that one otherwise there's going to be the need to duplicate here which can be confusing!

I noticed you have an identical post to this one in the child maintenance section that has received responses...it might be better to stick with that one otherwise there's going to be the need to duplicate here which can be confusing!

now all merged into this thread.

It might be a good idea for you to start keeping a diary and record everything that is happening and what is being said.

I have kept a diary but when I tell the csa I have shared care they tell me but ex-wife tells csa no shared care and they have never stopped over night at there dads. it not far I do my best for my children and I am always there for them. she has even told the children that I am a skit flint which I am very angry with as I pay csa 299.00 a month for my children.
one of my children has told me that I hope I win the court case but when I told him off he said I hope you lose. my partner had a word with my child and and the reply was I want dad to win court case cause the court decide where they live. my partner said that's says a lot and she thinks the children are not happy with there mum. The thing is my ex plays the children like a porn if she does not get what she wants and stops me seeing them and then she blames me if they get upset. I am just getting sick off all this,
what does other father think on here need advice. i am heading for a breakdown..

Unfortunately, you are in the same position as a lot of dads on here. You sound like you are doing all you can, which is to prepare yourself as much as possible - the better prepared you are, the better your chance in court, but beyond that, you have to accept that a lot of exs play quite dirty.

went to court on the 24th October, got contact order for 2 nights every two weeks and any other contact agreed with both parents. I am a bit happy but at first my ex-wife would not do any defined order as she said the children sometimes do not wish to attend for contact. she also accused my girlfriend of phoning social services anonymously which my ex-wife knows this is not true. My girlfriend was so upset when we got the court attendance note and read it. why has my ex-wife said these things after all my girlfriend helped me to get the children to school for 3 month while they lived with me as my ex-wife was homeless. my girlfriend feels she has been used and has had enough of my ex-wife's lies.
what do I do now about the CSA, I know I have to wait for the court order to come though, hopefully it will arrive soon.
Me and my girlfriend are thinking of getting married next year, I have been with her for 6 years and I feel so happy and she has always been there for me and my children even though we don't live together and has children of her own. she is so good with children and I know my children like her so much as when they are on the computer they always call for her help and not mine 🙂
sometimes I feel left out but I know my children are so happy when they come to stop at mine.
hope anybody can help me what do I do now ??????

It might be a good idea to call the CSA and inform them of the overnight contact you have been awarded and will send them proof of this when you receive the court order.

As far as the ex spreading lies about your partner, I would just ignore it, this happens a lot during court proceedings and its not worth getting upset about, you have a contact order with overnight contact which I gather you are happy with....just concentrate on that and don't let the rest of it get under your skin!

Your ex is almost certainly jealous of your girlfriend. It's one thing for your ex not to want you, but it's human nature for her to hate the idea that you want someone else