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Hi my son is after a lot of text and phone rows getting 2 saturdays a month contact with his 3 year old daughter from 10 -5.(doesnt start till the midle of Oct) The trouble is its all with rules. 1. hes not allowed out of the area(she lives in a very rural place and will take him 3 hours to get there, so he has no choice, as im 1 hour a way to stop with me the night before which I dont mind, then I will have to take him to pick her up drop them off somewhere nearby, he is allowed !! to go to the nearest town after yet more rows. But we arnt ALLOWED that word again to take her to my home which is an hour away and would make more sense
2 only 2 members of his family allowed to see her at one visit, well im the driver so that means one.
3. He has to write down where hes been and what they have done
4 Although shes potty trained she will have a nappy on and he must not change her into pants !!!!
5 He cant be late or she will give him a strike, he will be allowed 3 strikes then contact will cease
and the list goes on
We are taking her to court for overnight contact, now as she has agreed to two saturdays a month its worrying us she might get nasty and say at court the contact has to be supervised in a contact centre, do you think that will happen ?
we are also going for a P R as he is not on the birth certificate, They only had a 12 week romance and 4 years later we are still battling with her.
Hi There,
I know it's a real pain to have to jump through hoops to be able to see her but when you go to court you will hopefully get all this ironed out.
The mother has no right to say who does and doesn't see her and where she is taken.
Stick with it for now and then push hard through court for all restrictions to be removed, It is possible that she may push for supervised contact but what I would say is don't rock the boat over the contact she has given now, that way when you attend court you have a very good case to stay away from supervised contact as if this was needed then why would the mother allow un supervised at this stage?
When you do go to court try and cover every single area, remamber holidays, include going abroad, christmas, birthdays and ensure the order is set to cover her growing up.
Darren
...Making a 3yr old wear nappies when she is potty trained is not in the best interests of the child, in my opinion. Neither is keeping her from having contact with other family members. She needs to be allowed to form loving relationships with both sides of her family. I would definately argue some of these points in court, from the childs perspective... It would be more comfortable for visits to be conducted at your home, especially with winter coming.... If she lives rurally, its very possible that a contact centre would be quite a distance for her to travel to take her daughter there, ready for contact with Dad, it would therefore be in her interests to allow visits in your home... Your son could say that whilst he appreciates the mothers feelings and has tried to respect and abide by her wishes, it is now infringing on what is best for his daughter. and he would ask that the court bring some balance to the situation. Think about how to word your arguments so that they come across as reasonable...
Best of luck ak57! do let us know how you all get on.
NannyJane is right of course that none of what the mother is asking is in the best interest of the child, but by following this in the short term (until court) it will also show the judge that you are serious about seeing you daughter/grand daughter.
And again by the mother allowing this contact to happen shows there is no need for a contact centre, as said stick with it for now but then fight as hard as you can when you go to court and as NJ says think about wording so you come accross in the right way.
Darren
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