Not sure where else to ask this, can't ask on other message boards as they don't understand the predicaments we find ourselves in.
My 4 your old child told me this week that the ex's partner has said I'm not the child's dad. And the child refers to ex's partner as dad now.
Is there anything I can do legally, assuming not. Also if anyone else has experienced something like this, what's the best thing to do?
What I want to do, is confront ex and partner but I don't think it would stop the issue, they'd probably do it more to attempt to aggravate me into legal troubles.
I suppose the other option is to just do nothing and wait until the child is old enough to decide themselves. They already say they want to live with me as ex and partner aren't nice to them.
Is it best to advise the child the truth of it's mentioned again, and to consistently go against what they are saying. Or do I ignore it completely as to not confuse the child more, thinking if they go home and say what I've told them, they will likely be scolded etc.
I don't know, just very angry right now.
Hi,
It must be very upsetting and frustrating for you to hear your child makes those comments. unfortunately the child is stuck in the middle. Please try not to take out frustrations on the child. and as you mentioned, avoid saying things to child that could get them scolded when he goes back to mum. You could ring the local children's services and ask them for advice on how to deal with this situation.
have a read of this: https://www.smartstepfamilies.com/smart-help/learn/parenting-stepparenting/the-name-game-dissecting-the-emotional-significance-of-names#:~:text=After%20a%20few%20days%20when,protects%20the%20biological%20paren t's%20feelings.
I agree with Bill, you only priroty when you are with your daughter is to have a good time with her and to reassure her that you love her. That's all she really needs from you now, and by not rising to anything that your ex and her partner tell your daughter, she's going to want to spend more time with you.
@bill337 agree with this - my 11year old has had an intense 2 year period of alienation after his mum’s boyfriend moved in. All this while she asked me to reassure my so. Of the boyfriends presence.
best thing to do is to speak to citizens advice bureau or a solicitor to get some advice on protections. Then mediate and potentially go to court. Long process and alienation is difficult to prove. Video and audio recordings are frowned upon. But worth exploring and representing yourself to minimise costs.
