Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi,
Me and my partner split up 6 weeks ago due to her having an affair with my best friends wife. i have had the kids (one who is 6 weeks old and one who is 2 years old) every week friday 4pm till monday 8pm this was something she demanded of me although i was happy to accept this. She has now told me that i can only see my kids one day a week every other week. I went to collect my children up today and she refused to let me see them. I just wanna know if it goes to court as she refuses to seek mediation will i loose out and they not grant me access to them? Im currently paying off all the debt £9000 worth and just feel that im the one loosing out again. I just really need some advise please.
Hi there,
This must be so hard for you, it's only been six weeks so everything is still very raw.
I think you should attempt mediation, even though she refuses it when you have asked, it might be different if she receives a letter from the mediator asking her to attend. It is the accepted first step before applying to the courts. Legal Aid is still available for mediation, you can check your eligibility here www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid ...here's a link to the mediation service www.nfm.org.uk ...If she still refuses then you will be given a form FM1 which you would then submit with the C100, which is the form that you would use to apply for a contact order.
Have a look at the stickys at the top of this section, there are also some YouTube videos about the court process. There are lots of dads here that are in the same position, and being denied proper contact with their children, many of them choose to represent themselves....solicitors costs are very high and can reach into the thousands. To apply to court for a contact order would cost £200, but if you are on a low income or benefits you can claim an exemption from this and you would need form EX160a.
If you are on the children's birth certificates then you already have Parental Responsibility. If you applied to court for a contact order, as long as there are no safeguarding issues, you would be granted contact with your children I'm sure. It's advisable to start the process sooner rather than later because if you allow the one day a fortnight contact to continue for any length of time this will set the precedent for the court.
As far as the debt is concerned, if it is in joint names the CSA would offset it against any child maintenance you pay. You may not have thought about child support as you have only just split but it will be something you might like to look at... There is a sticky at the top of the Child Maintenance section called "how does the CSA calculate payments" that you might find helpful.
If that debt is in joint names, I'd get some advice on that to see if you can split it into two so you are only paying half of it.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
