I'm looking for some advice. I'm a mum to a daughter and currently going through the family court with her abusive father.
Background is i left him with the help of police and children's services after the abuse escalated quite significantly.
Went 6 months of nc then court proceedings were initiated by him. I also was successful in obtaining a non molestation order.
Cafcass recommended no interim contact and recommend a fact finding.
Judge at first hearing ignores this and orders weekly contact in the community to commence.
We get to 2 sessions before an emergency hearing is held as Cafcass believe us to be at risk.
Judge at emergency hearing is horrified to know contact was ordered in these circumstances.. I felt backed into a corner and was criticized for hiding behind the Cafcass recommendation and felt I had to offer and agree to contact centre. Father very reluctantly accepts this.
We have fact finding where Judge makes findings against both of us. I started reacting to his abuse towards the end and he therefore manages to turn this around to look like I perpetrated abuse.
Cafcass section 7 recommends no change in contact and recommends a psychological assessment.
Psychological assessment is undertaken and psychologist says no to unsupervised and contact should remain as supervised.
Directions hearing, he manages to get the psychological report thrown out and a new report ordered by a different psychologist.
By this point, our daughter has a Guardian who absolutely has fallen for his lies. I felt like I was punched in the stomach.
We're about to undergo the new psychological assessment and I just don't know what will happen.
I've not opposed contact continuing but I have opposed unsupervised contact because very significant findings were made against him pertaining to our daughter.
I've accepted I wasn't an angel towards the end of the relationship and I reacted.. but I couldn't take anymore. I've always been very honest throughout proceedings and have stuck to the court order.
I don't really know what I'm asking, perhaps advice on the next psychological assessment and any experiences of people who have undertaken a psychological assessment within proceedings and what the outcome was.
We're seeing your point of view here.
In this point of view it is clear that professionals in the court and child care systems disagreed with both of you.
Some found against your views, and some found for your views.
You qualify every time that they found against you, stating that there are "lies", and judges who ignores CAFCASS recommendations (which can happen).
They have more information about the case than random internet strangers so I'd trust that the truth lies somewhere between what you state and the father's position.
You also accept that you crossed the line sometimes
There is also a child in the middle of all of this, and unless there are extenuating cirumstances between the father and this child, the child should see their father
So I suggest you take a step back here - understand that you and your exes issues are yours, and seek what's best for your child.
I presume you ignored the but where it states he's abusive. Highly abusive.
Its becoming more common in the courts for abusive or drug using fathers to be given contact with their children. This can be very hard on mothers who don't want anything to do with the father as every contact opens old wounds. Perhaps you can take a friend with you as support.
@settledandparent highly abusive to child and mother. Both made fact in proceedings. So I do suggest you not saying things to the effect of me standing in the way of his relationship with our child. I will stop at nothing to put my case forward as to why unsupervised access is dangerous. Our child is too young to risk assess and he's had some quite astounding facts found against him.
