Hi, i am changing some of the events slightly in case my ex reads this.
I am in my first 6 week holiday period i have made good plans for my Daughter. i am having her 50% of the time. I have made various arrangements with grandparents and myself. I am being told by ex that Grandparents aren't fit to look after child which is nonsense. I am getting bombarded with calls/emails/messages. I don't want to speak to this woman and it is harrassment. She trys to tell me who i can spend time with etc when im with my Daughter were we can go etc etc. Is there a way i can get a order on her to stop her contacting me. ive suggested a pay as go phone for child to be called on and for me to call them on. I get told she is too young for a phone. She is trying to control the whole situation and causing me mayhem with work too. My employer has had enough of me taking days holiday last minute to mind her. I feel sick when she contacts me i just want her to go away can anyone advise the best route please.
Thank you
Send her a polite message telling her how her pestering/harassment makes you feel, and that she should stop.
If she doesn't stop then apply for a non-molestation order for free.
For child related communication I recommend using a co-parenting app like AppClose.
hi,
do you have court order in place for seeing child? you would have a word with police on non-urgent 101 number, and ask can they have words with your ex. but if she decides to play [censored] for tat, she might stop you seeing child. if she is messaging you on whatsapp etc, you can mute the notifications. how do you usually communicate with her when you make arrangements for child?
Send her a polite message telling her how her pestering/harassment makes you feel, and that she should stop.
If she doesn't stop then apply for a non-molestation order for free.
For child related communication I recommend using a co-parenting app like AppClose.
Thank you, she got one on me for 6 months when we split told a load of lies and i agreed to it as i just wanted a easy life. I would be happy to have another one put on me! I will apply and see what comes of it. Can i get one for emails and calls etc i just want leaving alone and i am happy to pay for it
@obsession1 non molestation orders can be applied for free. or you could just let her know you will only make contact with her through whatsapp messages or email, and only about child arrangements. no phone calls. then you can ignore and be selective in what messages she sends and what you want to respond to.
In the application for a NMO you can state what you would like her not to do.
E.g.
Not to communicate with you through email, phone. Whatsapp of sms unless it's a medical emergency.
Only discuss child related matters through AppClose or another app nominated by yourself.
i have a court order for the standard arrangements however the holidays were left open for arrangement between parties, i am making plans and she is saying no this is happening etc etc causing me parents 70s and over distress and i am fine usually but i get such anxiety when she kicks off i cant eat etc i get on edge. i have suggested the app for 6 months now and the judge did she refuses to use it. I also ask for my Daughter to have a £10 pay as go phone. I get told she is to young for a mobile etc all this is so she can control the situation.
I also have a partner she is saying i cannot introuduce her to as she isn't suitable and my daughter sdoesnt want to meet her etcetc it is all controlling. Shall i just apply for order non mol and list all this?
It sounds more of a child contact dispute than a non mol situation. If you can't agree on holidays you might have to go back to court to have that set out clearly but the court won't be pleased. If she's harassing you apart from that - ie lots of phone calls and name calling then its a non mol situation. She cannot stipulate what you do with your daughter when she is with you. However, suggest you discuss it with your daughter first before introducing her to a new partner and make sure she'd like to meet her. You can find advice online about how best to do it
You should consider mediation to make formal arrangements for holidays. If that fails then you can apply for child arrangement order.
So you already have a court ordered child arrangement order in place, but whoever put it in place for you, did not include school holiday time. I find this crazy. My original order had things missing, if you have a difficult ex then you have no choice but to go back to court. In my case no amount of mediation would help. You also say you have 50% of the school holidays with your child, which is great, how was this agreed, do you have the agreement in writing ?hopefully you do which means it’s agreed. Your ex can not dictate what child care arrangements you make for your child, I presume the child is happy to stay with grandparents during the day time and will be back with you for the overnight? If your ex stops the child from coming as agreed she will be breaking the court order and you can file that with the courts.
I know it’s hard but every time you have contact from ex, take time and step back from it. Don’t react like she does.
As your ex actually threatened to stop contact and was this put in writing?
I’m no expert, just a dad that’s been through something similar.
So you already have a court ordered child arrangement order in place, but whoever put it in place for you, did not include school holiday time. I find this crazy.
There are several reasons why this sometimes happens:
1. The CAOs where drafted when a child was a baby. Therefore summer holidays arrangements didn't apply.
2. Non resident parent works unpredictable shifts or their work does not permit taking extended time off several times over a 6 week period.
3. Non resident parent didn't ask for every orher week during summer holiday. Family court can only grant you what you ask for or agree to. This is why it's important to be child focused and propose reasonable arrangements to Cafcass during the interview for the section 7 report instead of focusing on allegations about or from your ex.