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Not really much I can say about the hearing……family courts are private and not open to be talked about from what I understand so as long as I don’t name names or specifics about the case I think I’m safe from prosecution lol.
Committal proceedings however can be publicly talked about and can be in open court meaning anyone can be in the public gallery (worth thinking about should you ever need family/friends support or to gloat over the ex’s)
So what I didn’t get was committal I was looking for …..this was specifically due to technical issues with my application so it transpired.
(probably only half looking for if I’m honest, a little scared of what affect it would have had on my little one and what she’d say about it to my little one)
What I have got is a final contact order varied to force cooperation from the ex over handovers and contact increasing.
If she doesn’t play ball then the same penal notice applies from the previous order, however this is also attached to me too for if I were to not turn up to contact, so I now have to ensure I can prove that I’ve turned up (always do but its another thing I need to prove) so looks like time and dated receipts from the pick-up/drop off points public place.
So what I gain from this is…..had the technicalities been corrected in my application the judge said that the court would have almost certainly accepted the committal, ordered and issued a 3mth suspended sentence to the ex. Unless she’d been able to miraculously find good reason not to be…..but not with what she had put in her statement as he put it! (I did allow myself a smug smile as he said that!)
So although I don’t feel like any progress has been made I think it has left the ex in no doubt that she is in big trouble now and the court will do something if she breaks another court order.
I can’t see her complying long term, I think she’ll try to re-control contact as she always does but if she does then I won’t be giving her the “3 strike rule” it’ll be straight back in front of the judge. I’m done playing her delaying games now.
🙂
...at least she knows you will take it as far as you can and next time, if there is a next time, she will not be so lucky! I'm surprised that the judge didn't bring CAFCASS into the hand over process as that is an option that is open to him and it would have assured that handover went more smoothly.
We'll watch this space... Lets hope that your contact goes more smoothly now, it's what you and the little fella deserve!
I would also not give you ex any leniency at all - at the first sign of a problem, go straight back to court, and make it clear to your ex that next time, you will have the technicalities ironed out.
Id say you did good - well done!
Its now just a waiting game......
Key thing is that hopefully you can concentrate on the children (till the next time 🙂 )
Good stuff
Well done! It does at least tell the ex that the next time she could be in serious trouble!! As actd says, no leniency either! And watch your own back of course! 🙂
Hi NJ....the contacts start from this weekend coming 🙂 .... apparently was too soon to arrange the bank holiday as she claimed they'd already got plans.
can't wait 🙂
Finally a bit better news from me….
I’ve now spent time with my little boy for two Saturdays on the trot…..the first Saturday the person who should’ve dropped him off and then left after 10mins failed to do that and stayed almost 3hrs and would not leave. I politely informed this person to check with my ex and read the court order that states the terms and to not break them. Anyway a rather animated discussion took place (I recorded it on the phone memo function) and she left with my little one with nothing I could do.
I did explain the consequences her daughter would face should the order be broken again.
As it was the first I’d seen my little boy in a couple of months I let this go and did say I would report this straight to court if it was broken this weekend.
So here’s the good news… 🙂 …..me and the little one spent 2hrs in the play zone and had lunch, then we went on to a park and built a den in the forest and sat in it chatting about school what he’s been up to and all sorts of stuff….he never showed any worry or concern we just spent time playing games and doing what I would say is “normal” father son stuff.
Oh and at 5yrs old it’s the first Den I’ve had the pleasure of building with him and I will say this how emotional an experience that was for me.
I’m on such a high now…….not going to see him for a couple of weeks now because of the ex taking him on holiday apparently (agreed in court) although I’m not sure if she is telling the truth as she’ll be taking him out of school which I thought was strongly penalised these days. I will of course be checking if she has or if she has simply lied to me….all good evidence should I have to go back to court again! So fingers crossed she’s not lying to me and that I don’t have to take this back to court for further enforcement
Anyways I’ll be keeping an eye out here and seeing where I can help by adding my little bit of experience of things.
Keep strong and don’t ever give up hope of spending time with your kids…..they do need you in their lives to give love and balance regardless of what your ex says!
Thank you for sharing your experiences, I'm sure it will provide hope to others here that are struggling.
That's brilliant Dad-I-d!
How lovely....I've got this picture of you both sitting in your den chatting away and having a wonderful time!
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