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Estimable Member Registered

@harveybdac - how is this my fault? 


the simple fact of child abuse now proven is not being looked into and charged.. its very clear who is at fault - yes i had a child - but what im fighting for is his right to have me in his life his right not to be emotionally abused - and how is any of this my fault when im fighting every damn day for HIS RIGHTS !

Topic starter Posted : 21/09/2022 10:13 am
Estimable Member Registered

Hello CBM,

I have just sat and read the thread back a little way, and I'm sorry you are having to struggle to have any kind of decent relationship with your son. It is difficult enough going through a relationship breakdown of any kind, without then having to fight for 10 years and some, in order to continue your role as your sons Dad. What you are experiencing now and have been experiencing is tough. I can't offer any legal or even say I have been through what you are going through myself, but I would like to encourage you to keep on going and keep on fighting for proper, regular access to your son.

Hope is a very little word, but it's impact is huge if you have the right support network around you. I would encourage you to hold onto hope and to remember that we have a new day every day - we never know what is going to happen, or how certain situations will pan out, but if you have a good network of people who can be there for you, pick you up when you are feeling low, etc, this will really help. Keep talking to those close to you and be honest about how you are currently feeling. It is good that you are feeling brave enough to share on a forum like this, that is one way of venting your feelings in a safe space. What comes across to me as I have read your situation is that you care deeply about your son and your relationship with him. So please don't give up. 

Some little self care tips for you - 

Be kind to you  - look after your physical health as well as your mental health. Then you will be able to deal with challenges more confidently.

                       - make sure you do an activity just for you to zone out for a while. Music, fishing whatever makes you smile

Look after each other  - your partner is going through all of this with you, make time for each other and please keep communication open, don't be afraid to let her know how you are really feeling, but please also seek professional help if you are feeling so low that you have bad thoughts or want to do something that could harm you. 

Make a memory box for your son. Tell him in a visual way how special he is to you and your partner, if you've missed things like birthday or Christmas, or any other special event, if you are unable to post these things to him, keep them stored away so that your son will know how much you are loved.

I appreciate that you must have at times been frustrated with the "system" for want of a better word, but try to work with people as best as you can as they want to help and they want the best outcome for your son and for you too.

I wish you well. One step at a time, one day at a time.


kind regards, Parent Support 

Posted : 23/09/2022 12:31 pm
Estimable Member Registered

it isnot gettign any easier... its horrific.. th elies the pressure on my relationship its too much i have not got anyone i can lean on my wife is not coping with this too much- every night i cry myself to sleep every day i wake up wish it would stop.. i feel abused daily and this is not a life i want to live anymore its just too much and i am sinking

Topic starter Posted : 28/09/2022 10:04 am
New Member Registered

There should be a law against this!


My mam did the same to my dad so I have her maiden name and no father on my cert! 

I think it is wrong.

and its wrong for women to use there children to hurt fathers!

sorry to say but she sounds very toxic, best thing is go to the gp get help for your depression concentrate on trying to see your son, you might have to accept she cant be reasoned with directly and you may have to go through the authorities to get access to your child. 


Posted : 28/09/2022 10:54 am
Estimable Member Registered

lets visualize just how long this whole process has taken up until right now.

It is 3801 days from the date i came here begging for help

10 years, 4 months, 26 days 

124 months of pure hell


  • 328,406,400 seconds
  • 5,473,440 minutes
  • 91,224 hours
  • 3801 days
  • 543 weeks


i cannot stop i got to just stay strong and move forward 

Topic starter Posted : 29/09/2022 5:54 pm
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