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Estimable Member Registered

@harveybdac - how is this my fault? 


the simple fact of child abuse now proven is not being looked into and charged.. its very clear who is at fault - yes i had a child - but what im fighting for is his right to have me in his life his right not to be emotionally abused - and how is any of this my fault when im fighting every [censored] day for HIS RIGHTS !

Topic starter Posted : 21/09/2022 10:13 am
Estimable Member Registered

Hello CBM,

I have just sat and read the thread back a little way, and I'm sorry you are having to struggle to have any kind of decent relationship with your son. It is difficult enough going through a relationship breakdown of any kind, without then having to fight for 10 years and some, in order to continue your role as your sons Dad. What you are experiencing now and have been experiencing is tough. I can't offer any legal or even say I have been through what you are going through myself, but I would like to encourage you to keep on going and keep on fighting for proper, regular access to your son.

Hope is a very little word, but it's impact is huge if you have the right support network around you. I would encourage you to hold onto hope and to remember that we have a new day every day - we never know what is going to happen, or how certain situations will pan out, but if you have a good network of people who can be there for you, pick you up when you are feeling low, etc, this will really help. Keep talking to those close to you and be honest about how you are currently feeling. It is good that you are feeling brave enough to share on a forum like this, that is one way of venting your feelings in a safe space. What comes across to me as I have read your situation is that you care deeply about your son and your relationship with him. So please don't give up. 

Some little self care tips for you - 

Be kind to you  - look after your physical health as well as your mental health. Then you will be able to deal with challenges more confidently.

                       - make sure you do an activity just for you to zone out for a while. Music, fishing whatever makes you smile

Look after each other  - your partner is going through all of this with you, make time for each other and please keep communication open, don't be afraid to let her know how you are really feeling, but please also seek professional help if you are feeling so low that you have bad thoughts or want to do something that could harm you. 

Make a memory box for your son. Tell him in a visual way how special he is to you and your partner, if you've missed things like birthday or Christmas, or any other special event, if you are unable to post these things to him, keep them stored away so that your son will know how much you are loved.

I appreciate that you must have at times been frustrated with the "system" for want of a better word, but try to work with people as best as you can as they want to help and they want the best outcome for your son and for you too.

I wish you well. One step at a time, one day at a time.


kind regards, Parent Support 

Posted : 23/09/2022 12:31 pm
Estimable Member Registered

it isnot gettign any easier... its horrific.. th elies the pressure on my relationship its too much i have not got anyone i can lean on my wife is not coping with this too much- every night i cry myself to sleep every day i wake up wish it would stop.. i feel abused daily and this is not a life i want to live anymore its just too much and i am sinking

Topic starter Posted : 28/09/2022 10:04 am
New Member Registered

There should be a law against this!


My mam did the same to my dad so I have her maiden name and no father on my cert! 

I think it is wrong.

and its wrong for women to use there children to hurt fathers!

sorry to say but she sounds very toxic, best thing is go to the gp get help for your depression concentrate on trying to see your son, you might have to accept she cant be reasoned with directly and you may have to go through the authorities to get access to your child. 


Posted : 28/09/2022 10:54 am
Estimable Member Registered

lets visualize just how long this whole process has taken up until right now.

It is 3801 days from the date i came here begging for help

10 years, 4 months, 26 days 

124 months of pure [censored]


  • 328,406,400 seconds
  • 5,473,440 minutes
  • 91,224 hours
  • 3801 days
  • 543 weeks


i cannot stop i got to just stay strong and move forward 

Topic starter Posted : 29/09/2022 5:54 pm
actd reacted
Estimable Member Registered

still here - and now going through the child protection core meetings destroy my soul! when will this #### country do something about these sick #### child abusing women! 

Topic starter Posted : 02/11/2022 5:19 pm
Estimable Member Registered

social services you people are utterly gutless pieces of #### who destroy fathers rights

Topic starter Posted : 02/11/2022 5:20 pm
Estimable Member Registered

does anyone actually read this?


has this process of writing what's happening help anyone?


as i just feel its a waste of time now - i used to feel like im doign something like im making a difference now i just feel im writing my last words before i die and im leaving behind my story for someone to write a book.. i dont feel like im living any life anymore i feel like im barely existing.. social service meetings bring me to the point where i want to just ######## scream and call them all useless ##### and to actually help me and if not help me help my son whos the real victim in all this


but everyone in the social services system just wants to sit on the fence and play devils advocate noone wants to look into the actual cause of the issue and help by addressing them for what they are... 


il never be able to sleep at night knowing my son is out there just wondering what the #### is going on - and in some way feeling like i failed him all because his evil mother has turned him against me...


i desperately need some help.. some strength and a way to make this all go away... as i just cant bear the pain i feel right now.. 


10 ####### years of pure [censored]...

This post was modified 2 years ago by NellGC
Topic starter Posted : 06/12/2022 8:08 pm
Illustrious Member

@crazybabymother hi sorry to hear what you have been going through. you mentioned you have been taking part in child protection meetings, how has that been going?

Posted : 06/12/2022 9:09 pm
Eminent Member Admin

Hello @CBM, we are here. It looks to me as though things are really tough right now. Just to let you know, I edited the post above for language, but hope you do keep coming here and sharing your story and working to be the best dad circumstance allows. All best, Dad Info

Posted : 07/12/2022 2:28 pm
Estimable Member Registered

Hello @CBM,

I'm sorry to read that life is really tough for you and your wife right now. I would strongly suggest that you go and see your GP and see if there are any options for you that would help with your anxiety and mental health throughout all this. I realise you may have already gone down the counselling route, but talking with a trained professional can really help you to get what is going around in your mind out, and then your head space is a little less manic. I cannot stress how important it is to look after yourself, physically and mentally. I understand that some days will be harder than others for you, but you and your wife must look out for each other and keep communicating about how you are feeling.

As I have said in my previous post, I realise that you are finding working with social services difficult, but please try not to give up hope. Continue to create memories of yourselves for your son to receive as and when the situation allows. 

Keep talking, keep hoping and keep doing everything as well as you can. One step at a time.

Kind Regards, Fegans Parent Support.

Posted : 08/12/2022 7:27 pm
Estimable Member Registered

So this is where we are

this will explain the current situation with social services meaning I’ve had to raise a formal complaint 


Dear Social Services and all others member of the child protection conference – I need you all to be fully aware of this situation so it’s clear and familiar to you so that when speaking with me and hearing my frustrations you can appreciate this situation has been built up from 10 years of failed attempts to co-parent with x and her continued parental alienation and emotional abused to our Son A.


I am not satisfied with how this is being handled And now due to the lack of involvement from social services and the family court system even though I have followed the correct channels and court process  granting not only access to my son – but also he is meant to be spending Christmas with me.


Still we are no further on and I’m not getting any answers to the concerns I have been raising now 10 years later still A continues to be manipulated and emotionally abused at the hands of x. – most recent now being the refusal of my Christmas gifts.


So below I will outline the issues we must be address so Let’s start again – and if you wish we can go through this from start to finish in even more details as this continues to be the case that you keep on missing the points of the issues I’ve raised for over 10 years!


I would first like to say I’m happy E is no longer involved in my child’s case – that being said I would like you to look into his inappropriate conduct and general lack of any professional duty to care for the child involved as previously mentioned in my complaint.


  1. Why have social services failed to have any impact on the ongoing child arrangements and the serious concerns of x mental health and emotional child abuse which I have been asking for help with dating back as far as 2012?
  2. Why has the social services lied when saying they have not read or have any knowledge of the 3 previous section 7 reports? When it was social services – who was the ones who completed these reports?
  3. why has E copy and pasted my views from an email he sent me? when  asked me to give you positives on my relationship with A? And further used this as proof he did work with myself and my wife? When in fact E has done nothing no visits no discussions with me? Why do you allow unprofessional conduct from someone who is meant to be acting as a professional?
  4. why are you not including the up to date information from the police?
  5. Why are you not providing an up to date report to prepare for the meetings?
  6. Why are all professionals including the police and mental health professionals made aware of the meetings well in advance and given the opportunity to attend?
  7. Why are you not exploring parental alienation and how his mother is forcing her own views onto A? Which is the cause of the emotional abuse A is suffering?
  8. why is there not one single mention of this in the report? And why is no one referring to the previous cafcass report that cleary outlines the main issue as affinity alignment?
  9. Why is the facts of the history of this situation not being looked into or discussed as there no history of x taking me to court to keep me away or any previous police situations where they have had to be called you have a duty to look at facts presented to you NOT TO ASSUME! Why are you not questioning this situation from the point of the facts being presented to you??
  10. why are you not considering a change of residency! x is never going to stop putting barriers in my way all for her own personal vendetta against me! and the mental health she is suffering and A is suffering AND FOR THE VIOLENCE SHE HAS PUT ME AND MY WIFE THROUGH!
  11. Why have you not spoken to Cafcass????
  12. Why has the new social worker assigned to the case still not read the information that has been sent – court statements – Cafcass section 7 reports – etc?
  13. Why has the new social worker failed at the start to make an agreed visit unannounced? And given x pre warning of her visit allowing her to give an excuse she would not be there? Meaning A will now not have Christmas presents that I drove 2 hours to make sure he had in time for Christmas?
  14. When is A going to be given the correct emotional support that is needed by a professional who knows and understand the impact of parental alienation? And can work with him to reverse the abuse cause by x
  15. Why are you asking me to get legal advice  - when its absolutely not necessary when I am a litigate in person – so I am asking for my own case I want any and all information relating to the social services involvement dating back the last 10 years – including any and all dangerous and violent situation as discussed in the first core group meeting I believe your aware x has exposed A to 6 or 7 different domestic violence incidents. – (NONE OF WHICH RELATE TO ME)
  16. Why do I have a court order in place giving me access to my son and this is not being discusses encourage or enforced by you the local authority?
  17. WHY AM I STILL BEGGIN FOR SOCIAL SERVICES TO HELP !!!! WHY ????? I’ve raised very serious concerns with you 10 years ago and still you fail my son your conduct as a professional organisation is failing an abused child and you continue to fail a father on his knees begging you to take the appropriate action.


I look forward to a full and proper explanation to why you have failed to have any impact on any and all of the above points – and do not wish to partake in any further core group discussions until these concerns are addressed.



Kind regards,




Topic starter Posted : 23/12/2022 12:32 am
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