First time poster.
I wanted to share my current situation as I'm really struggling with a solution.
I have been with my current partner for 2 years. I have two children from my previous relationship. She works with children and has lots of young nieces/nephews in the family, so she is great with children in general. She suffers from anxiety and also over thinks a lot. I put my guard up when this happens and that makes things worse.
We moved in together a year ago and the relationship has suffered since. Before we moved in we made time for each other, made effort to do things and spent time just the two of us. But since we moved in we have become lazy with it, took it for granted and made no real consistent efforts to spend that one on one time. When we do spend one on one time together it's brilliant and we are very close. But the rest of the time we are dragged into the stress of the working week.
This issue has been brough up quite a few times over the past 12 months and no matter what is said we seem to fall back into the habit, often over shadowing the times we do make efforts to do things.
Lately my children have become a topic of discussion. Whilst we have had good times together and often have fun, they are not as close as I would have thought they might be. She has kept a distance (and that's fine).
Hi,
There is some useful info here:
https://www.onwardapp.com/blog/blending-family-issues
https://www.lovetoknow.com/parenting/parenthood/blended-family-problems
First off, it's pretty common for that "honeymoon phase" to simmer down after movin' in together, but you gotta keep that spark alive! Make date nights a thing, even if it's just Netflix and chill after the kiddos are asleep.
About your partner keeping a distance from your kids, communication's key, mate. Maybe she's hesitant 'cause she's navigating the whole "stepmom-ish" role while juggling her own anxiety. Have a sit-down, spill the tea, and see what's really up. If you guys keep the lines open, you can work on closing that emotional gap.