Me (40) & my girlfriend (29) have been in a relationship for 5 months,we started living together nearly straight away. We found out she's pregnant a few weeks ago & we were both pretty happy about it, 2 wks later at (6wks pregnant) she went to visit her mum for a few nights 1.5hrs away as she did regularly. This time she didn't come home, saying she was to sick to drive & wanted some alone time to sort her head out so I left it a week & asked if I could visit her for an hour, she said she just wants to be left alone & didn't want to see me, I started stressing noticing something was wrong so I drove to her mums & she wouldnt come outside to see me & made me leave without seeing her.
1 wk after that she told me that she cant be in a relationship with me while she trys to fix herself & she split up with me, breaking my heart into a million pieces.
She says she has severe depression & her mental health is very bad so she moved in with her mum to be alone & fix herself, but 3 weeks later she hasn't done anything to try help herself, all she has done is sleep & play video games.
She hardly ever replies to my msgs & wants nothing to do with me all out of nowhere, her friends are also gob smacked saying that she told them only a few weeks ago that "I treat her like a princess & that I'm definately a keeper & she doesn't know what she'd do without me", I treat her better than a princess because I love her deeply.
Now over 3.5 wks after she left she came home & picked up her belongings & gave me nothing but attitude the whole time she was here even though I was helping her pack & told me there's no chance of us getting back together because she doesn't love me like she used to anymore & she will raise our child herself at her own expense, knowing that a family is all I wanted in life & a huge dream of mine.
I'm still madly inlove with this girl & she's 10 weeks pregnant with our 1st child & I've tried so hard to get her to try fix this & get help but she just wont try at all. I feel like everything I ever dreamed of has been ripped away from me & I can't get it back.
I want to be part of my child's life when it's born but it's pretty obvious that she's guna make it hard for me, just confusing the [censored] out of me why she went & done this all of a sudden. It's really bringing me down & my thoughts lately haven't been real good at all.
Just looking for some friendly advice maybe & a place to vent. Cheers
Hi,
Sorry to hear this, it could be her hormones/ antenatal depression. Suggest you give her time. Maybe things will change after babies born. In meantime I suggest you book a GP appointment and see if they can offer any counseling or support for your mental health.
You could contact Spurgeons (details in my signature)
Also: relate: https://www.relate.org.uk/
Sorry to hear you're going through all this chaos, especially with a baby on the way. Look, she's obviously dealing with her own demons, and as much as it sucks, you can't force someone to get help or love you. What you can do is look out for yourself and prepare to be a rockin' dad. You got legal rights to be in your kiddo's life, so maybe talk to a lawyer to sort that side of things. And hey, don't forget to talk to someone too, like a counselor or a mate who's good at listening. Life's throwing you curveballs, but that doesn't mean you can't knock 'em out of the park.