It's about a year since my and ex wife split. I have one daughter 10 and one son 5
At what age would it be a good time to explain to my kids why I had to let go of their narcissistic mother? So far all I've told them is things didn't work out between us and we were always arguing. I know their mother is feeding them false information about me, but I don't want to do that to the poor children.
hi,
theres good advice here:
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/support-for-parents/separation-and-divorce/
https://www.todaysparent.com/family/kids-and-divorce-an-age-by-age-guide/
Are they asking you questions about this?
@warhammer no they haven't asked. Neither have I probed the topic with them. Should I?
Personally I would not say anything to them until they ask. My child is 11 and my ex sounds the same as yours. She constantly questions our child about everything we do together, while in my care, she stores information ready and waiting to use against me. My child lives on edge with her, she has no problem using him to get what she wants. A long time ago I decided that my home would be his sanctuary, his safe and happy place. He doesn’t get questioned, or involved in anyway with anything going on between us. I remember how horrible it was being with her, so can only imagine how my child feels. No child needs to stuck in the middle of arguing parents.
How do you know she is telling them false accusations?
Valid point you have.
I can tell the way their behaviour has changed- not with me but towards my family (my parents in particular)... I can sense alienation and distance towards them.
moreover they seem to have a reluctancy in staying nights with me, whereas they used to be way more attached to me than their mother. They used to spend more time with me than their mother! I can only conclude that their reluctance is not a natural thing, rather them being fed wrong information. But I may be wrong too.