Hi everyone,
I'm newly registered here after seeing a lot of decent support on here. Long story short I am a Dad to be (expecting early June - <2 months away) and feel I'm getting progressively lost in where things stand with my partner how it will affect bringing up our child. We've been together 2 years and moved in to my own home towards the end of last year. I am also currently doing talking therapy to try and address things in case it makes a difference with what is written below
Firstly I completely understand my partner's moods being volatile, unpredictable, irrationally huffy etc, I expected this to be part and parcel throughout the pregnancy. However I think the lack of affection is slowly starting to accumulate, and sometimes some of the stuff she's come out with when in such moods ie feeling/being trapped (I think it's because she no longer has her own space to live), calling me hopeless/stupid etc is starting cutting deeper and deeper and is starting to have an affect mentally. She also insists that I won't be in the delivery room when the baby is born which I think may be down to self consciousness, she has only showed me her bump once on a picture which was only last week, and has an idea for a name but isn't sharing it with me. The delivery room call is totally down to her at the end of the day, and I'm just about at peace with it.
Recently she was showing me something her friend sent her on an app (rhymes with SlapCat) and I noticed she had received messages from someone she has previous with over a year before we met (not necessarily an issue) and someone else around a week ago who she's never mentioned before. This on its own doesn't really mean anything, but the months of feeling nothing short of neglected and the sudden social activity on the app ie posting to her story around the time of the messages just sent me into overthink mode - the negatives seem piece together so much more smoothly than the positives. When it gets a bit overwhelming I convince myself that the worst scenario will be reality and it's getting to the point where I'm a bit reserved and quiet around my girlfriend, which I then get told I'm horrible to be around. Practically all support articles and other forums online seem to be based for the female perspective so the majority of answers on similar topics are along the lines of 'just put up with it, don't do anything or make any major decisions' but I'm scared of feeling like a fool for just bowing down and letting it happen. At the end of the day I just want to be in a worry free relationship so we can do the best for our daughter when she gets here.
I apologise for the long winded message, but your perspectives and advice would be hugely appreciated.