[Solved] Childminding problem
Hi, my problem is im 48,remarried with 3 year old daughter. Have 2 grown up children from first marriage. Things were great at first with new wife and our daughter.wife never spoke to her oldest daughter for several years when i met her. Her daughter then gave birth to baby girl.wife made contact to heal rift and then things were fine. Daughters husband has good job as bt engineer but oldest daughter wanted to work in a flower shop so she asked my wife would she mind her daughter who is now 3. I had no problem doing the odd day but it averages 3 full days a week now. This week it was tue, wed and tomorrow. Her grandaughter as ill call her is very demanding, constantly fights with our daughter and wont share toys. The day is long from 9-5 we mind her. One week at xmas we had grandchild all week. Its stressful. Prob is wife never says no when asked. Sometimes when she has doctors appointments in town she still wont say no and we have to take the 2 kids with us.if i say anything id be prob looked at.thing is my wife is not fully well, she had operation last year and after a day of childminding she is exhausted and has a sore back etc.is her daughter being selfish or using her? She could easy live on her husbands wage, or just do a day or two at most in the flower shop.
I can see that it’s a sensitive issue and it’s natural to be worried about your wife’s health, have you tried to speak to her daughter about your worries? Have you spoken to your wife to gauge how she feels about it?
When you put 2 preschoolers together it can be stressful, especially if one is more demanding, but at least it won’t be forever, the two little ones will be starting school soon and that will be problem solved.
Perhaps you could suggest that half days are better for you and maybe suggest a local nursery to cover the other half day. Some schools run preschoolers sessions, to get new starters used to the routine, that might be something that could help.
Best of luck
you mentioned your wife is not well and getting burned out by childminding. she should be your priority at present I think. You should speak your mind and tell them your wife can't cope, so they will need to find another option. sounds like the child is being dumped on you lot.
It would be great if life was so black and white! However, speaking as a grandparent, I would probably walk over hot coals to spend more time with my grandkids!
Bigfra’s wife might love having her grandchild, maybe she missed out on seeing her daughter, if they hadn't spoken for a while, and just wants to make up for that. I think talking this through and understanding what everyone really wants would help.
Best of luck
Only good news is both kids are starting nursery soon, so this might help. Have expressed concern about wifes health to her oldest daughter, who sometimes got someone else to mind the grandaughter for the odd day, but these people are mostly not available so she eventually will ask my wife who always jumps and cant say no. She would get annoyed if i suggested she dont take her grandaughter.
Getting them in nursery will definitely help! Most of us make sacrifices for our families, your wife wants to look after her grandchild and the best thing you can do is to support her in that, but keep a discreet eye out to make sure she doesn’t overdo it.
All the best