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Child maintenance/day to day care

 
JezP
 JezP
(@jezp)
New Member Registered

Hi everyone, 

I'm new to this forum. I became a single Dad just over a year ago.

I share my kids 5050 and have equal day to day care. I do the same number of drop offs and pick ups, I'm the only one that pays for out of school activities, I have them for the same amount of time during school holidays. I take them to dentists and doctors when I have them.

 

Anyway I've just been through a mandatory reassessment with the CMS and they have still ruled that my ex has primary care. I find this baffling, unfair and upsetting.

 

I'm going to try going to tribunal as I feel that the CMS don't know regulation 50. I've providided all the evidence including a consent order and solicitors letter but the CMS assessment still went against me. When I talk to the CMS they just keep saying that my ex has child benefit so is considered the primary carer.

 

It's very frustrating as I contribute equally as well as paying her child maintenance.

 

Any advice greatly received

 

Thanks

 

 

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Topic starter Posted : 01/02/2022 9:27 am
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

hi,

It's disappointing that you have to go as far as a tribunal. If that's the only option left, then I think you need to go for it. you could also provide all this evidence to child benefit people, to possibly make a counter-claim. have a read of this https://www.gov.uk/child-benefit-child-lives-with-someone-else

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Posted : 01/02/2022 10:31 am
JezP
 JezP
(@jezp)
New Member Registered

Hi,

Thanks for getting back. The CMS have said that since the mandatory reassessment did not change the original decision the only option left to me is a tribunal. Until then I have to keep paying. 

It's not just the money, I want recognition that I am an equal parent. 

 

Does anyone have any experience of the tribunal process?

 

I have the consent order stating equal day to day care, solicitors letter showing equal number of nights, evidence of paying for their out of school activities, paying half their uniform, lunches, taking them to doctors and dentists.

My ex has even said she can't take them to the doctor anymore in her time with them and I'd have to do it as she can't take more time off. 

 

All my vacation and more gets used up looking after them in holidays while my ex is a teacher. The whole situation just seems so one sided.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 01/02/2022 5:14 pm
Warhammer
(@warhammer)
Estimable Member Registered

How many children do you have together. It may be worth you applying for the child benefit for one of the children, if everything else is 50/50 then so should the child benefit. The CSA see the parent getting the child benefit as the main carer, so if it’s split between you, should help with your CSA case.

 

Im no expert but worth a try.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 01/02/2022 6:19 pm
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

@jezp I would recommend you join this CMS support group on facebook. lot of experienced members and some have gone through tribunals in same situation as you: https://www.facebook.com/groups/239699060076601

ReplyQuote
Posted : 01/02/2022 10:12 pm
JezP
 JezP
(@jezp)
New Member Registered

Thanks, the mandatory reconsideration has already gone against me so the CMS said all I can do is take it to tribunal. Just doing the form

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 01/02/2022 10:36 pm
JezP
 JezP
(@jezp)
New Member Registered

@bill337 thanks have just applied to join the group

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 01/02/2022 11:12 pm
nathbeckcooke
(@nathbeckcooke)
Active Member Registered

@jezp Hi, I've just been reading everything you've out regarding your current experience with the child maintenance services and you've just basically described everything I am also dealing with.

Myself and my ex-partner split nearly 16/17 months ago - she decided to leave due to the relationship breaking down, we have 2 children together (4&3), we came to a mutual agreement to have our children 50/50. This has been in place since October 2020. I first heard from the CMS in December 2020, but due to me stating we have 50/50 they closed down the case there and then, but then my ex-partner opened a mandatory reconsideration on this (WHICH THE CMS NEVER INFORMED ME OF). We shared a house that we bought, therefore my ex-partner began to come very greedy in the respect of demanding me to the sell the house and telling me she wanted her 50% share of the house, in which was not possible. Due to her persist and demanding behaviour, I then had to re-mortgage the property and put an extra £20,000 debt on my head to just get her off my back, while all this was taking place she was continuously stalking me, harassing me, sending passive aggressive text messages, basically projecting her controlling behaviour due to things not going her way. 

I finally completed on the re-mortgage in September 2021, in which she received £20,300 (as she demanded I pay her legal fees) again, I felt this was a small price to pay to get her off my back. I thought this would put a stop to the animosity in the way, especially for the children. It did, for all of a couple of months as I was then slapped with a CMS letter, stating I am now liable to pay CMS and also had £2000 arrears, this was due to the case being closed and opened without my knowledge but due to covid and back log, they couldn't tell me this for 8/9 months!!!! 

Trying to avoid the in's and out's too much, fast forward to February 2022 and we are currently a week away from our first hearing for a child agreement order (that she applied to the courts for), I am still battling with the CMS and recently found out my youngest that I help deliver in my house and raised as my own for the last 3 years, is actually not mine. With the heartbreak of learning this, having a severely hard work of an ex-partner and constantly battling the CMS, I am slowly loosing the will with it all. I applied to the tribunals last year, I am still yet to get a hearing date and even that isn't guaranteed to go my way.

It is pure and simple that because the mother receives 'child benefit' which is the gateway benefit, then us dad's that provide just as much, if not more (if you pay child maintenance) just get pushed aside, wrong financially punished for being there for our children, nothing or no one within that service could care less. Because it's their 'policy and guidance' which is completely against men. 

If anyone has had any success at all with the CMS, any advice or guidance will be muchly appreciated as I am at the end of it all, I am giving up the fight with them slowly. 

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Posted : 22/02/2022 4:05 pm
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