I went to collect my son last week from school and was told he was removed at 14.45 aftwr a call to main office by mother. I was not informed by mother. Early in the week i informed i will collect him from school to resume contact and drop to school on Monday. She responded no i wont and to drop to her on sunday 6pm.
Prior to this message she began accusing me domestic violence towards her and now my son. I last saw him three weeks ago. It was my new son birthday which my eldest got to share the milestone. He also had his cousin stay over with him on that satirday and we go together as a family swimming which is lovely.
Hiwever since moving on my son is being enotionally and mentally abused, brainwashed and manipulated. Because he says things of an adult nature channeled towards me, sudden change in his behaviour, becomes aggressive, seems anxious and withdrawn. The last couole of weeks even after his play time he became suddenly withdrawn and started to question life what is the point he just wants to die, my life is ruined etc..i could not fathom this ither than his mother. She has previously said similar things to him which he told me, not to mention when she claimed she was possesses and demon wanted to kill her and our son.
As a result last week i raised my concerns to the NSPCC who felt the matter to be escalated so children services and police. I understand the police sooke with my son at school with liasion officer present its been almost two weeks and i have not heard from the authorities or police and as a subsquent mother stopped the contact without notice.
I have called the CS the women who dealing with it she said its just allocated to her. She was useless previously she she minimised my concerns about the possession and said ita normal for dirt to be thrown between ex's. The police investigating officer has been sick. I have no idea how my son is other then police sayinf he is safe and well. Given he was taken away after my concerns was raised. Like usuall before she did she claiming i am domesticllly violent to my son and that i should apologise to him!!?? The allegations of abuse started because i refused to have dinner with her a month earlier claiming it was for my sons birthday and that he wanted it. Its entirely inappropraite she is interfering with contact and my life hooing she can break my marriage and create tension between me and wife. She has not moved on in 10yeara as son is 9 now.
The liasion officer at school is not forthcoming with information and not empatheitc to mu concerns. I have informed them to support my child since 2016 and to speak with him regularly. Because he is a high performer they say he is ok.
I have not seen my son for 3 weeks, my ohone calls are ignored and she does not get him to call me.
I have a child arrangement order which she is breaching, she has bit stated why contact has stipped other than i am physically harming my son but that is in retaliation to my concerns to authority.
I need to enforce my orser and vary it to make it water tight and go no contact with her as she cannot cope with communicating or seeing me. I keep having allegations of avuse bombardes which is abuse in itself. I want a harassment and non mol against her as in 10 years not moving on is like being atalked by a psychopath how to proceed please im going barmy at home and its straining my home lofe and mariage
Thats very sad and must be very worrying for you. As she is breaching the child arrangements order, you or a solicitor could write her a letter advising her to reinstate contact immediately, or you could apply to the court yourself. There will be a warning notice on the order explaining the consequences of breaching it. I would suggest a letter in the first place so you have proper evidence of her non compliance. The court will need to be sure that she does not have a reasonable excuse - ie the boy is ill. Keep a record of the calls you make but do not make so many it can be construed as harassment. You can find the application form on the .gov.uk website.
Hi,
I agree with Champagne. You can send her a letter/message reminding her to follow the order, and if she doesn't you will apply to court to enforce the order. to enforce you would need to fill in form C79. costs £232. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c79-application-related-to-enforcement-of-a-child-arrangement-order
in the meantime you could speak with the school, and try gather evidence from them and social services, that the child is suffering any kind of abuse due to mother, if that's the case. and can use that information to support your case if you go back to court.
I understand that schools keep records under child protection. You could ask them you want records from that, anything regarding your child.
- @bill337 thank you. This is exactly what she wants is to take me back to court because it gives her the control and knowing she can pull me away from my home and marriage as she likes. I have told her i dont want you interfering in my calls to my son i want to speak with him and not you. Give me the same courtesy that i give you when you call. I have been messaging her phone asking to speak with son, and informed she has breached but no reoly. Prior to her stopping without informing is she claiming i am viokent towards my son as means to retaliate to the concerns i made to authorities.
- I will need to enforce the order as i dont believe there are reasonable grounds to stop, i certianly am not violent to my son and the allrgations came when i said i dont want to soeak with her and i dont want dinner with her
- I will also need to vary my order as i only get him on weekend every ither week and nothing in the week. That said she has no issue to let me have him fur the full lockdown period as she worked for NHS as key worker but lies to CMS. Recently he been coming every weekend. She gives me more at her convenience or when she cant cope. I dont think she will cope if my order doesnt change. She does it so she can maximise payment from CMS. Golden Uterus Syndrome.
- What is concerning is social have not called me and i feel as though they are avoiding me. I have called again today and left messages. Police officer is off sick. I feel she will try to say i am violent to my son, without evidence. Given that he is 9 if this goes to court is he abke to soeak himself??
hi,
I have heard from other dads that had enforced their order, that it often ends up becoming a variation of the order. So you could use this chance to get more time with child. Court will probably get cafcass involved. if they do section 7 report, they will speak to your child and find out his views/wishes.
Its coming to 3 weeks and i have not heard from authorities police or social. I last spoke with the case worker assigned on Monday just gone who informed me she has just been assigned the case and will read and get back to me. When i informed her my contact was stopped when ex took him from school earlier, she SS informed me that this was not advised by them. I waited all week then to reach out on Friday and was told they will pass a message on but still nithing. I realised that the person i am dealing with was the same person who i raised concerns to about my sons wellbeing and ex wife mental health regarding her claims of being possessed. I wrote a rather concerrlning email with a recording of what my son was saying which i felt she did not read or take seriously 3 years ago. Her response was that i was invoking my son to say things when all i did was record and listen and asked why my son felt the way he did and why he is saying things of an 'adult nature' and how he can possibly know. Secondly, she comoletely seemed to miss the point and address my concerns in email absolutely minimising and disregarding claiming its normal for ex with conflict to throw dirt at one another. I was flabagasted by this individual and could not fathom the lack of concern of son wellbeing and mither repeat behaviourm i highlighted im not interested in throwin dirt for over 7 years since our divorce at the time iv ket things slide and pass all to keep peace and stay positive for my son. He is now being abused because i have gone no contact with ex because she wants to coercively control me. I did lose my rag with her because of this lack of regard and i began to question her role why she is in a job and has absolutely no ability to look at things with common sense and solve problems. I did apologise to her after i had cooled down but these people as a service completely shocking. I am therefore a little concerned that mother may have manipulated her way again to be seen as godmother in front of other and blame me.
The main point i want to ask is given the concerns and all mother has done is took him from school early on the day i was to collect him and since is ignoring my calls and text messages. As i have parental responsibility and concern for him and i miss him dearly what stopping me to collect him from school on monday as i know he has after school club at the school. It is my understanding they cannot come in the middle or prevent me? Even if she blighted claims to school that i am this violent angry man nobody has said that i cannot see my son. The liasion officer is obstanate and seems to be looking for clues when we speak but has only recently communicated with me. Never 3 years ago. Police have not got in touch and neither have social and she said herself if mother has stopped then u need to go court or soeak with her to resolve.
Neither has ex wife not said you cannot see him or given any reasonable explanation for no contact for that matter other than her behaviour which is passive aggressive.
I intend to go and just turn up at school unannounced and collect him from his class or afterschool club. Is this in the current situation a wise thing to do?? Are there any questions i can ask the liasion officer??
Please advise as i intend to do a C100 to vary my order and C79 enforcement of order. Ideally i want my son to live with me or shared care. Reason being is she diregards our order and gives me a lot more anyway after a while like each weekend or all the holidays but then lies to CMS.
i dont want to give too much away early in the application when completing these forms so need some help on filling the forms to take it to court.
Only want to reveal when i make my statements.
I intend to self represent because i feel as i am content with myself and emotions i can do it because i understand and see through her now.
Any advice or guidance will be greatly apprecites
I don't feel that it would be wise to collect your son on Monday unless thats in the order. I think you need to be squeaky clean and keep to the order. You can go to the school to pick up your son on the day stated in the order and, if she has removed him, keep notes to back your claim for enforcement of the order.
Yes i agree i think i believe you are right it makes sense. Thank you. It would be my turn this weekend to collect on Friday. She collected him early the week prior on my contact at around 14.45. I was never given any reason by her or the DSL why she removed him early other than she called main office and we normally do not advocate leaving early but seeing its Friday and class is on wind down and second class has already been taught we felt it was ok for him to leave early with mom. They never explained the reason given which i felt i should have been informed of. Thinking back given what happend i dont think she informed them i was coming to collect from school.
Either way its done now. Im considering attending on Friday but also attending early at 14.30 on Friday to ensure i can collect him. I will take my order with me too which school have. Is it worth informing the school that i will be attending? I also want to avoid meeting ex wife due to conflict or possible cause of a scene or drama at normal school time if she still expects to take him..she may even turn up early because its my turn on weekend
hi,
I would suggest to not turn up to school on the day the child spends time with mother and take him away. then it would look like it is you that's breaching the order. Also with the forms, you would only have to do the C79 for enforcement. no mediation is required. Yes I think the next time the child is due to spend time with you, maybe a good idea to go to school early and take your order with you, incase your ex tries to take him earlier. I don't think you should tell the school in advance. they may not be neutral.
Hi i have today managed to submit to the court online my C79 form the court said they are working to a 10day waiting time even though i have marked for Urgent.
I since asked the court to advise on which forms to complete if i wanted to go back to court to vary and amend the exisiting order to ensure it is clearly defined and minimises encounters with my ex wife, due to her constantly accusing me of abuse. The current arrangement doesnt work and is a little outdated as it discusses when my son was in nursery and when he becomes of school age. it currently offer me half holidays, fathers day, take overseas and every other weekned and nothing mid week. Im conscious of going for full residency or shared care at least because she eventually lets me have him more than the stated contact hours- she conveniently denies this to the CMS.
Question i have is the court advised completing a C2 form to vary the exisiting order, i have never come across this before while i assumed it would be a C100 given what i am going through currently. Does anyone have any experience and advise on this??
Also stated that i complete a FL 401 form for a non mol, anyone have experience of this ?
Chased Social spoke with case handler she advised she has not heard anything back from police and will be directing another email to the sergant and is also waiting conversations with my sons mother which she has not managed to do. I have not managed to speak with PO that is investigating even after leaving countless messages, its ridiculous.
hi,
I would suggest not to spend any more money on additional forms. What you could do is at the enforcement hearing, ask can your order be varied and give reasons why you think it should be varied. more info on enforcement hearing: https://fnf.org.uk/info/family-court/enforcement-of-orders
As for the non-molestation order form, I am not very familiar with it. but there is lot of useful advice about it here: https://www.advicenow.org.uk/statement-injunction
Enforcement order applied and paid for not heard anything from the court.
I was intending to collect my son from school this afternoon and turn up early but have decided now against it.
After many calls 3 weeks to 101 police, i called them again this morning for any update. The DC whom i spoke with on Wednesday refused to give information because the investigating officer is sick and look likely to be sick for a while, however today after complaining she was able to let me know that since my concerns was raised uniformed officers indeed went out to carry out safe and well checks they was not able to speak with him but a worker or social worker did and an allegation against me was made by my son. They did not share thisballegation however i can deduce that it will be of violence towards him or hos mother. I have never been violent but mither keeps protraying me as violent.
As result they advised it best if i did intend to see him this weekend that perhaps should not because it could escalate allegations further. I spoke with social they confirmed this but advised they have been pushing police to escalate it and investigate because it gone on too long.
Social also advised that mother is alledging allegations of adult nature basocally all she does is mirror my allrgations making it [censored] for tat. I said to the social how is it i have raised concerns that are to be investigated which i did also in 2018 and they was minimised, how is it that these get manipulated and turned around on me?
Anyhow im just down by this corrupt game and coming to accept that this is probably the realtiy and just give up on hom as he maybe too far gone by all the brainwashing and manipulation which was never investigated.