Hi,
it must be so draining and very frustrating for you. Please try to be patient and wait for the section 37 report to be done in time for next hearing. in meantime, you can try to follow your order to best of your ability. make yourself available for the calls. if mother doesn't allow them to happen, document it and tell court at next hearing. be careful not to get angry and send her aggressive messages. she may provoke you, so she can use your bad reactions against you in court.
As an update to all.
I have been liasing with a social worker who is part of 'Child Protection and Court Team'. She got in touch as she was authorised to write the Section 37 report.
She had spent time speaking with me over the last 10 weeks, spent time with my son at School and at his home with his mother.
Social worker needed more time to have the report prepared for court, she informed me that she needed more time therefore needed the hearing on 13/4/22 to be adjourned. I was annoyed with this as another delay. One thing she did agree was the level of alienation and hositily my son had towards me. I have always stated that i have provided years worth of notice and evidence to avoid situations like this and here i am facing the situation. What i also would have hoped was we still go court have direct contact authorised with supervision, then for the adjournment. She never did that - failed again!
Her argument is that my son is still adamant he is afraid of me or that i have physically abused him, despite herself agreeing that my son is alienated and in mothers environment. That he does want to see me and is very conflicted
That being said i have just recieved the Section 37 report and the conclusion is that there is a need for a care order for my son and is at risk of significant harm in his mothers care. She also feels that it is not in my sons best interest to place him in the care of me his father immediately. That he he should be placed in foster care on the interim for a period of up to 16 weeks until psychological assesment are made for me, ex wife, my son and supervised contact with both parents . They say that my sons views about me are so entrenched it would not be as simple as placing him in my care immediately and that he will need support. They wont do as i ask unless they take me down too - it such a horrible process.
The social worker claims i am goading and antagonising my son in recent calls, which she also highlights could be due to reacting to the situation but also harbouring negative feeling towards my ex wife. My argument is i have faced false allegation for 10 years, informed authorities for over 6 years, warning you of my sons emotional and mental decline, warned you of the adult things he is saying about me and the allegations he is stating, finally accuses me of something his mother would, you further place me in alienated environment, you avoid direct contact at all cost even with 3rd party as cafcass letter suggests, indirect calls at mothers have not worked as son is controlled by her and he rarely shows up with frivolous excuses such as he is busy or tired, judging me on a untrue and unrealistic position as a parent who hasnt been able to see my son directly for over 6 months!!
The annoying thing is that i have for over 6 years been to all the authorities and courts highlighting the same issues wanting them to stop, and to gain support so i can obtain therapeutic services for my son and have him live with me. They wont do that for the father would they because you will never meet the threshold. Instead they have to throw you under the bus and punish you for ever bringing any issues or conflict up. Whilst for the ex they encourage alienation, place her centre stage applaud her then reward her. only now they are looking to remove my son from mother care which is a win and place him in a nuetral environment. Again they have completely disregarded that i am lacking insight of the process when i am the one who brought this to light and the failings of the social services, court and cafcass. The reason they have failed is because when i submit my concerns and application i write strongly about the allegations, about my son and his decline and particularly her patterns of abuse. But all she does is take my information and turns it around and says i am doing it. She projects and if they had any sense they will look at the 3 signed statement she has submitted to court and find that none of the stories are the same and she often contradicts what she is saying. Also, the fact she never has reported the supposed incidents at the time they was suppoed to have occured. There is never any evidence. I am all the while always logging and documenting and reporting and its being minimsed, but the moment she is able to say yes he is doing that without challenging her is a farse.
Its a shame the services are disregarding me or any family members. She has highlighted she has no family she getrs on with i.e her brothers and their wives. Her parents are extremely elederly. I have a large family but they state oh because familys didnt get on when we split in 2012 then this will not be helpful. it si reported my son has also an immeasurable amount of loyalty and concern for his mother where he cannot remember anything bad about her or any good about me. They have had ample time to discuss with my son about physical harm but they cannot deduce that he is saying this out of loyalty towards his mother. The S37 report however is heavily against the mother. The fact i have not been present in my sons life with direct contact his behavour and state has been at a decline and school have also noted that he is becoming more subdued more chatty in class when he was always well mannerd and well behaved.
I have to now prepare for an emergency order that the LEA will apply to court. i dont know if there any positives other than my concerns have now been listened to by the authority and they recognise them, that son will not be with mum all the time and her onslaught of anger towards me. But it comes at a cost they are not even considering me immediately other than i have to jump through all the hoops they set out. I will be aiming to follow the plan and hope to see him in a direct supervised contact but also to fight to have him stay with me.
I could really do with some help and support about how i can get this to go in my favour. as much as i dont trust the social to be fair to her she has always kept me informed prior to what she was doing and regularly discussing with me her observations of mum and my son and what she is noting also actually agreeing with the points that i raised. I perhaps didnt help my self for becoming emotional and showing strong dislike for mum to her, but i never do this in front of my son. I always have encouraged and supported his relationship with her which in fact has been the detriment of my relationship with my son because she never reciprocated it. therefore i enabled my son to become manipulated and brainwashed against me because i always said 'listen to your mother and support her.
@sid4u I'm unable to advise and not sure if it will help as unsure if you have legal representation but if they decide to go down the route of Foster care then you potentially will be entitled to legal aid.
It's a terrible story! I'm sorry for you and your son because he succumbs to psychological pressure.