Hi Guys,
So just a quick question, me and my ex divorced 2 years ago, we have 11 year old who I haven't seen for over three Years. Anyway long story short my ex and I haven't divided our family home, it's a joint house with mortgage. So after two years of trying to sort out everything via negotiating she refuses to negotiate, instead she has been constantly phoning the police and saying that I have been stalking her which is false lies and allegations. Last night they knocked on my door which is a shared house and arrested me at 23:00 kept me in the cell for four hours, I couldn't afford a solicitor so they got me one, obviously they let me go as I didn't do anything, I told the police this is the second time you guys have contacted me of stalking infact this time arrested me on false allegations this is unfair and unacceptable, I told the police she's doing this so she can get an injuction against me and use it as a bargaining chip for the financial settlement. I need some advice please as what can I do in this unjustified and unacceptable situation.
I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Sadly its not uncommon. You can make an application to the court for contact with your child. Its a form C100 and is available on the www.gov.uk website. There is a fee but if you have low income, you may be able to have this reduced. On the same website, there is help with fees from you can do online. If you qualify, you will be given a reference to put on the form. There is also a very useful website: advicenow.org.uk. They have a number of guides dealing with child contact, divorce and finances. Also coping without a lawyer. There is mediation available for dealing with finances but it doesn't sound as though she'll cooperate with that.
As far as the stalking goes, keep out of the way which is probably what you are doing. Don't make lots of calls to her. If she applies for a non molestation order on a FL401 form, she will have to provide evidence. She can ask for an order without you knowing about it but there will be a return hearing at which you have the chance to object. The Judge will ask her to provide more details with evidence. You have to respond to that. The order is likely to stay in place in the meantime though. She is misguided if she thinks it will help her financially as they are different issues
hi. you could also contact police and put a complaint in that your ex keeps harassing you; making false allegations and having you arrested, which is wasting police time.
@bill337 actually I did mention to the police, but they just fobbed me off. I think I will put in a official complaint about my ex as its effecting my mind and massive undue stress
Is there an official body within the police force I should make the complaint? Please any help this woman won't stop
@champagne Hi
As far as the Stalking is concerned, I have never ever stalked her infact I don't even have her phone number. God knows what she's been saying to the police, like you said she's getting wrong and stupid advice, it's really effecting me now emotionally and mentally. I have decided to make an official complaint, as the police didn't want to here my concerns.
There are also several smaller domestic abuse charities and you may have one in your area. Check it out on google or call in to your local council offices. There is no shame in this - many men suffer domestic abuse and help is out there.
Hi Chaps,
Here's the following reply I got from the police, saying its not wasting Police time. So my ex can phone 5 - 6 times, make false allegations and it's not wasting Police time, what a joke honestly.
Thank you for contacting Thames Valley Police and for bringing your concerns to the attention of the Professional Standards Department. Feedback is one of the quickest and most efficient ways in which we are able to recognise the areas of our organisation that could require attention. Your concerns have been logged under the above complaint reference number.
In order to address your complaint, the following action has been taken:
I have reviewed the crime reports which have been reported by your ex-partner and the subsequent actions taken by officers. I conclude that the action has been reasonable and proportionate in accordance with what has been reported. Evidence has been reviewed and any decision to arrest you was made due to the nature of the matter reported.
Wasting Police Time is a serious offence which can only be charged following consent of the Director of Public Prosecutions. I am satisfied that if the officers considered this to be a factor they would have identified this within the appropriate investigation logs. Victims of crime are not considered to be wasting police time simply because, as the alleged offending party, you deny the allegations against you.
If you believe you are a victim of crime then please do report this to Thames Valley Police so that this can be investigated. You can do so online via out website https://www.thamesvalley.police.uk/ or via 101.
This concludes the complaint process, should you wish to raise a complaint in the future please do not hesitate to contact Professional Standards or alternatively use the below link which will direct you to the online complaint form.
@nickpuna Complaining was never likely to get you anywhere, it was pointless. You need to work with the police when you are on the receiving end of vexatious allegations not fight against them.
Friend of mine , was once constantly getting his house raided at silly times each time they had a warrant to search , it was his ex every time making up nonsense. In the end he went and got a key cut and he gave it to the police and told them to let themselves in whenever they wanted , see how powerful that is?
@harveybdac hello mate,
The other guys mentioned it and I thought it was a good idea, there is a process they have to go through, no one is fighting the Police but I won't let them walk over me, plus it shows on record of her continuous harassment and false allegations. I will be seeing my doctor about anxiety and depression due to her actions. The whole system is a game, so I'll play the system