Well, I thought this might happen.
Took a call from the ex's mother this afternoon I wasn't sure if this was to be expected at this stage or not.
I was told to stop making my ex feel like the preverbal and how I should count myself lucky that i even see my son considering that I was not around during her pregnancy. They were not accepting the fact that I was pretty much prevented from having anything to do with her during that time. IE i booked loads of time off work and then last min cancel the time off as I was told that her appts had been changed etc...
Then I was told that if I threaten court that I should carry my actions though. Problem is, due to the threats I got the access I wanted. I'd rather not go to court but will do if I need to.
I was told that I'm all show and that my ex is massaging my ego..... Really? I just want my son to have access to see me on a regular basis. How is that hard? I was told that even though I'm on the birth certificate that there are no rights and that the mothers word is law. (pretty much)
How dare I ask to see my son for one hour extra?? Really???
I then told them that the ex was texting soooo much (like 150+ texts per day almost) that i had no option to block her. They went spare at me. I explained that I had ensured that there were other ways for her to let me know of there were any issues with our son.
Texts at 2am to me is not acceptable.
They also say to me that my ex is so much in love with me that I'm using her as my puppet on strings. really??? I want to move on from her, why would I use her? No chance.
I just want my son to see me and me to see my son and be in his life.... How hard can that be???
The problem I have now is that I made it clear to my ex some weeks ago that I did not want to go in to their house. I did not say why, but the truth is that I did not want to argue with her and more so her family. -- i didn't tell her that though.
Now, my ex has made it that her mother is the one who will bring my son to my car as my ex "cant face me"...
I feel so low right now as I know in my heart I've done the right thing and not run away from my responsibility and love my son with all my heart.
Why she has to lie Ill never know...
what to do now 🙁
Hi jonnybobs,
To make your life (and that of your son) easier it would be great if you could find a way forward where you, your ex and her mum could get on. I know it may appear like a bad idea at the moment (and I agree that 150 text messages a day is completely over the top). If you and your ex can find a way for you to both parent but not as a couple.
Is there anyway that the three of you could sit down and talk to thrash this out, clear the air and move on. You sound like you're going to be a really cracking dad (given half the chance) and your ex and her mother sound like they really care about your son - so surely between the three of you, you can come up with something that works.
It sounds like your ex still has feelings for you - so it must be hard for her to let go, you are the father of her son.
She must have had imagined what life would be like when she had children and I would guess that the current situation is nothing like she imagined (maybe the same is true for you). It might be better to go a little gentle on her. She is a new inexperienced mother trying to come to grips with a lot of stuff at the moment. I guess I am trying to say be as supportive as you can without leading her on - try to be a friend.
I have read a few of your posts and I thought I might offer my two bit's worth.......
Hi B.F.O
Yeah, I forgot to mention, she is a mother to a 5 year old too. She's actually a good mother and I can't argue at that. Sadly she's manipulative and there is no need for that.
Sadly, there is no way for the three of us to even be in the same room. without sounding really horrid, but the family values are really worlds apart. EG I was brought up not to swear at my elders....!!! I'm 31 and still wouldn't...... thats the ideas if you get my drift. I don't want to "put them down" but the way i am and was brought up is with honesty and integrity and sadly, thats what has got me to this position.
I went to the agreed meeting point today and send a message to them to say i was there and waiting. sadly, they did not come. I thought 15 mins was enough time to wait.
I contacted mediation today as i think this needs sorting and i want to ensure my son has access to me and this side of his family.
I miss him terrible right now
Hi JB,
Mediation sounds like a really good idea. I still believe you two need to thrash this out and move forward.
Im sorry that you didn't get to see you son today - you sound gutted (i would be too in your position).
I generally don't mope around but this time round it just seems very hard to not see him. i actually feel really lonely. Not sure if thats the right word but nevertheless its just empty at the moment 🙁
Ill pick myself up later 🙂