Hi everyone,
My ex-wife and I, have recently adopted a 50/50 shared care agreement for our three daughters. We each look after them equally, holidays, shared trips to dentists, doctors, school runs, school uniforms, overnight care, clothes, gadgets, you name it.
The girls literally have two identical homes with the same stuff in both, I drive them to and from their mum's on my days (she never picks up). If anything, I actually spend more money and more time doing things for them than she does.
I recently contacted the Child Maintenance Authority and told them of the change to 50/50 shared care and they were adamant I had to continue paying my ex-wife money each month. (Be it slightly reduced).
I appealed the process and outlined that we shared all monetary and care responsibilities equally but they would not have it. They simply said, we will have to phone your ex-wife and ask her if this is true?
Needless to say, my ex-wife is switched on (and spiteful) enough to know she's on to a good thing. She's had six trips to Bali in the same number of years with her new husband and I feel that I am funding them. My ex has basically lie and told the CMA that she buys all their essentials and I pay for nothing?
I've phoned the CMA a number of times to express my frustration, but they will not budge. They haven;'t even asked me to list what I spend or the things I do?
Now I am feeling a little lost and feel that my only hope is to go to court and try and prove that our 50/50 shared care is truly 50/50 and that their is no single 'responsible parent'.
I am making a video diary each day to show the things I am doing with the kids like dentist appts, trips to buy uniforms, holidays etc.
Can anyone advise on the court process I need to take and what the cost implications are likely to be?
(My funds are limited at the moment, as I am paying inflated back-pay to my ex-wife for the time it took the CMA to make a decision)
Go straight to the HM Courts & Tribunal Service, with the link shown below;
https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/hm-courts-and-tribunals-service/about
I wasted so much time trying to explain my situation to the Child Maintenance Service, it isn't worth the stress or hassle speaking with them.
Your experience is not unique, the CMS is a young organisation focused on bringing in revenue and seemingly not capable of dealing with individual cases.
The appeal process could take up to 12 months and although it has been nearly 6 months since they ruled in my favour, the CMS have failed to reimburse me my overpayment.
My next step is to take the HM Courts & Tribunal Services' decision to the Independant Case Examiner, but this can only be done once the CMS have scratched their heads for 6 months.
Keep going and don't lose your cool.
My on going nightmare continues but I do feel there is light at the end of the tunnel and I have been advised to take my case to the police once concluded as my ex committed fraud by claiming from the lapless CMS staff, who failed to even check on the validity of her claim.
Good luck and I hope this helps.
How are you getting on with it?
I Hope you are OK.
Firstly, I am one of the lucky parents who receives CSA and am aware there are plenty of parents who receive nothing for their children. I dont want to appear greedy however I will appeal the CSA because I think their decision is unfair on my children.
My ex is married with 1 SD. Both him and his wife earn over 45K a year, each!! So they have a joint income of 90K with 1 child. CSA will only use ex income for assesment (fair enough, dont expect step mum to pay). On the basis of 45K they have acessed him to pay approx £105 per wk (woo, yes I am very happy). Ex is asking to pay a reduced amount of CSA due to SD having a disibility, this will reduce payments to £90. I cant change the SD illness, why should my children miss out because of it. Her parents are hardly short of money, I dont think £15 will make that much difference her/them?
I would appreciate any advice/guidence on appealling a CSA decision, how long will the CSA take to come to a decision, what is the process? Will I anyone in the CSA give me support or guidence?
To be honest, it does sound like you are kind of greedy. What your ex earns is no real concern of yours. If he and his new wife brings in 90K between them, well that's just their life together and no concern of yours. You are no longer married to him, why should you be entitled?
OK, your son has a disability, and I am really sorry to hear this. I hope he is well. But stop using him as a way to get money off your ex. Sounds like your using him as a bank.
I am sure that social service can help out in extra things that you may need for you son if he has a disability. Or if you are struggling to cope financially, why don't you come to an agreement with your ex for him to have custody of your son. That way you know he will be looked after very well as he has lots of money to get your child what he needs?
Hi,
I have been separated from my ex-wife now for about 4 years.
I have been paying £450 a month for my two kids for that 4 years now. I only get to see them every other fortnight.
In this time my ex and I have both been moving on with our lives. She found a new partner long before I did and he moved in with her.
I was living in a small flat which was very uncomfortable for my kids to come and stay in, as it meant sharing a bed and me sleeping on the floor.
In the last 2 years I have managed to improve my own situation, meeting someone getting a better job and we have just bought a house together, big enough for my kids to have room to stay. My partner has a daughter and a disabled mother who stays with us.
However, what I didn't count on was obviously my wage increasing, obviously increased my payments. These have gone up another £150 per month.
For the last 1 month I have been unable to see my kids as I was not able to afford the travel costs (as we live some distance apart)
The CSA are not interested in my expenses. Nor in the fact that I am looking after a Disable Lady as well. They also don't care that my ex is living with a man who has no other dependents.
They recently did up their Kitchen and are now having a new conservatory built.
I asked her to consider keeping my payments as before, at least until I have things financially sorted, as the entire house buying process has crippled me. She agreed, but then reported me to the CSA for not paying the extra.
I borrowed money from friends to allow me to buy the fuel and have a bit of spending money necessary to see my kids, but my ex refused as she claimed it was "her weekend". Even though I hadn't been able to come down on "my weekend"
CSA refused to help, or claim they cannot help me. My Ex is intent on taking as much as she can from me and doesn't care that the kids miss me.
I don't know what to do. Can I appeal? Is there anything I can do?
Lion,
so your kids stay with you 2 nights, every other weekend? does that make any decent reduction to your payments? heard some people just do a lower income job lol. but i wouldnt want to feel controlled like that.
dont know if you do this, but you can claim special expenses from CMS, like for fuel, if it costing £10+ a week.
distance will always be a problem, unless your in a position to move closer to your kids.
CMS also ask if your paying into a pension. am not an expert, but think if you are paying into a pension, you get reduction in child payments. as well if your partner has a child, or if any child is living with you.
Hi Bill,
Yes, it works out that the number of nights I have my children and the fact that my partner has a child does reduce the amount I have to pay a little.
And I have no qualms about the money I need to pay, I want to provide for my kids, as I don't want our separation to affect them, they are young and I don't want them to see it as a bad thing. Their Mum and I were not getting a long, and separation was the only thing that saved us from each other.
But it's the fact that the better I do for myself the more she gets and the more I pay. The better she does for herself, (like finding a new partner with a very good job) the better off she is. Nothing seems to help the paying parents who are in my position, and it's now preventing me from seeing my kids.
I will look into the expenses, as this might be my saving grace!
Thanks again
Lion
special expenses:
If you are a paying parent (non-resident parent, 2003 scheme) you can ask for certain expenses, which reduce your gross income, to be taken into account. These are called “special expenses” and are for:
the cost of keeping in regular contact with the child or children you pay child maintenance for – for example, the cost of fuel to travel between your home and the child’s home
-costs to support children who live with you if they have a disability or a long-term illness
-repaying debts from the former relationship – for example, if you are paying a car loan for a car the receiving parent has kept
-some boarding school fees for the child or children you pay child maintenance for – but only the everyday living costs or ‘boarding’ part of the fees
-making payments on a mortgage, loan or insurance policy for the home you and the receiving parent used to share – the receiving parent and the child or children must still live in the home and you must have no legal or ‘equitable’ interest in it
All the above special expenses, apart from supporting children who live with you if they have a disability or a long-term illness, must be for more than £10 per week.
https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/other-financial-commitments-child-maintenance-cases
The link that Bill has provided is for Northern Ireland, so might be slightly different rules than here in England.
Unfortunately, you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, the rules won’t allow for the resident parents and partners incomes to be taken into account, which can lead to an unfair balance of funds... the amount you can claim in travel expenses is quite small and won’t cover it all.
As Bill mentioned, you could increase the amount you pay into your pension, it would reduce the amount you pay her, but it wouldn’t put more money back in your pocket, at least not until you retire. It’s something that you might like to consider, better in your pension pot than in her pocket.
I wish I could be more helpful mate. All the best
Hi
Help needed please! Is there anyway you can challenge what you pay to your ex partner? I have a good job paying £68k and bonus of around £10k although it sounds a lot I have a DMP set up for nearly £50k of debt that during the break up I had to maintain the family home so I could sell it. I am paying my ex circa £520 per month. This is for 1 child and I have him Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night for 1 week and then see him Saturday and drop him off at 6.30 after he’s had his tea. I then take him on holiday for a week maybe two weeks years and On this I’m sure I should be paying a different rate but CSA don’t agree, My new partner also has a son of 14 that lives with us and I also have a non biological daughter with my ex who I also see on a Saturday. I also have applied for travel as I have to do all the collection and drop offs but have not heard anything back. This is an enormous amount to be paying! Help Please!!
Hi there
Here’s a link to CMS guidelines where you’ll find details of how payments are worked out. You will need to calculate on your gross income.
They should take into account any children living with you. As far as a reduction for overnights, from what you say, they would work that out on a reduction of 1/7th pw.
For a 2/7th reduction you would need to have your child for 104 days per year. Currently, even factoring in 2 weeks holiday, you are still under the 104 days per year threshold.
If you pay into a pension the amount you pay will be deducted from the gross income amount before they make the calculation.
You can also claim for travel expenses but it doesn’t cover the full amount... hopefully they will get back to you soon.
Here’s a link to the CMS calculator
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
Best of luck
hi mojo,
can you advise in my situation. i get standard every other weekend, 2 nights order. at the moment i only get 1 overnight every 2 weeks, so CMS told me that doesnt meet their threshold. however. 2 overnights will be starting in 2 months. can i ring up cms in advance and ask for reductions? order says i can have kids for 1 week holiday this year. do cms still take that into account. also what about 2 overnights for bankholiday/xmas ? is it worth tallying up these few nights, to tell cms?
thanks.