@Vik2001 the fact you have no findings is positive. The fact you have done parenting course is also very positive. That CAFCASS want to work with you both to reduce hostility which is in the best interests of child is also very positive. Being child focused is allowing you to make progress. The only thing to keep in mind is that potentially contact may need to be built up to 50:50 depending on how long you have not had them 50:50 or not seen at all. However, try to politely push back against this to get as much contact as possible close to 50:50.
In relation to lack of communication (or hostility) suggest the use of a contact handover book (details the time spent with you, what you have done, and anything you want to communicate as part of a handover) and suggest the positives to using one which may also help reduce the significance of the hostility to your case. The contact handover book will also be physical evidence that you can use at a future review point to demonstrate how you have embraced it and are communicating and how the mother may not be and therefore move the focus away from you and onto her.
You have to remain strong, patient and determined for the long game.
All the best.
thanks for replies. ive done the cafcass parenting course before it was suggested. i also did some first aid courses for kids, and one on nutrition. this was all off my own back.
even when i was placed in contact centre (i was accused of being alcoholic, and the DNA results all came back fine, and below all the readings) i was seeing the kids every weekend at contact centre. After the fact finding, the ex said i should only see kids for 3 hrs on the weekend, but the judge after reading my contact centre reports said she had no concerns over my contact with kids and gave me 7 hrs on weekend. But ex refused overnight stays and my barrister said not to push it just yet till later. The ex also said i should do drop offs and pickups, but i asked for this to be shared, and the judge agreed with me.
Now in my eyes all the hostility is coming from the ex, however cafcass said its coming from both of us. i dont know why they said this as i remained child focussed. The ex sent all the fact finding bundle to cafcass as kept slandering me to cafcass. I remained child focussed however to cafcass, so maybe after reading her allegations again cafcass blamed hostility on me to. but the court order said cafcass are to proceed on the basis no facts were proven.
The ex now knows i want 50/50 and shes fuming, the cafcass mediation course they are recommending is apparently some new trial thing they are running, but its optional. Im going to say im happy to do it, but i cant have the court dates put back as i cant get any till next year.
so update on my situation.
cafcass should be close to completing their report. they did say to me their is hostility. but i believe its not from me. so i recommended a private parenting course that me and the ex can go on. cafcass was thrilled about this, and encouraged it to the ex, who didnt seem to pleased.
im still worried that cafcass will go against me in the report, and say not to give me the 50/50 access i want.
what have others reports been like from cafcass, positive or neutrel?
Cafcass spoke to my youngest. My youngest is only 6 and said she hates coming to visit me, and hates seeing anybody on my side of the family.
Now I know the mother has coached the kid to say this. But cafcass have noted this within their recommendation. Where do I go from here when I attend my final hearing?
My contact centre reports show the kids having a great time with me and lots of fun when they see me. We personally have fun when together and I do lots with them how do I approach my final hearing when cafcass have noted what my kid said.
do you know if cafcass officer will be at final hearing? I would suggest you make lot of mention of your positive contact centre reports and how you find it strange your child is saying negative things about visiting your and your family. is the section 7 report complete and have you received it?
How do I get cafcass at the final hearing if needed?
The section 7 report is complete but I havnt received it yet. Should they send me a copy or its goes straight to the court, then to me?
what usually happens is s7 report is out in time for 2nd hearing. and if agreements can't be reached, some times either a parties lawyer will ask for cafcass officer to be present at the next (final) hearing to discuss the report or judge may want it. so you could ask judge can the author of s7 report attend the final hearing to discuss report and help reach agreements.
cafcass will send s7 report to you, court and to your ex.
Thanks Bill. My first hearing and final hearing are only a week apart, due to dates getting reshuffled. I dnt know if cafcass would attend court at such short notice. I know the ex wants me to have limited access she said it outright to cafcass