[Solved] Directions Hearing went in the wrong direction!

Awww BZ you always manage to make me smile! 🙂

This situation is pretty unbelievable, we shall just keep a close eye on the situation and if my grandson shows any signs of distress we shall call a halt to it. I have spoken to his sisters SW and she will be doing a report for the next hearing and speaking to him to find out his wishes. Its a big ask for a little boy! He can be quite shy so I hope he doesnt clam up! My son has met her previously and he said she seems a nice enough person, if a little young. We shall see....

My poor son is feeling burnt out and needs a rest from it all...its been one thing after another since 2010...when he got Residency we thought it was over but that was naive, in truth it has never eased off and is unlikely to in the forseeable future. The mother will do her best to be a pain in the [censored] in every way she can, of this I'm sure. :unsure:

Good job I'm made of stern stuff!!! 👿

I think I will go on that course! 😉 ...come April McKenzie Friends are going to start being in great demand!

I am so sorry for you and your son. What happens next for you?

Have you been to court to try and get custody of the little boy as a very concerned grandmother?

Wishing you all the best for the future with your fight. It is so heartbreaking that mothers get treated differently to fathers. Things might change if the mothers were actually prosecuted for their lies and deceit.

Just managed to read throught this....NJ that's disgusting! can you not appeal the decision based on the CAFCASS report findings??

Hi Jane [censored] unreal, if that was a dad growing a weed farm in a childs bedroom they would not get any contact never mind supervised contact with the Grandmother, what a joke . How one sided the law is. what else as this bad mother got to do to make the courts see sense
. Cafcass should have given the report before the hearing not after. Remember this was the first hearing , request the first judge you had who knows the case. I will be in touch sunday ... I agree about mfs will be in big demand

Thanks you guys! 🙂

Cuddles.....My son has custody of his boy, he was back in court because he stopped contact when he found out what the mother had been up to recently. He went back to court to ask for the contact order to be changed to supervised contact and to prevent his son from having to go to the mothers house.

We've talked about appealing the decision but were going to see how it goes.... My grandson will tell us if his mother takes him anywhere without her mother, the maternal grandmother has to stay with them for the whole visit. They've been told not to say anything bad about us, he'll tell us if that happens too, and if he shows any signs of distress my son will stop the contact again.

There are further reports to be done and she could mess up in the meantime. I think the judge was useless and made the wrong call...the CAFCASS report was incomplete and quite damning, we shall be addressing that too. At least my grandson doesnt have to go to his mothers house and no overnight stays.

Since having custody my son has bent over backwards to encourage the relationship with the mother and my grandson misses his sister, she misses him too. Even with everything thats gone on my son still wants the mother to be in his sons life but with safeguards...I think with the court process, it seems quite common for things to start off not looking too favourable... the situation may well turn around come the final hearing.

The judge may have been swayed by the fact that the SS have left his sister with the mother even after everything....they are monitoring the mother apparently. If they'd have removed the daughter from the mothers care then this wouldn't be happening.....I think they've removed other children for less but my sons ex seems to be teflon coated!

My son is emotionally drained, his Uni work is suffering badly because he just cant focus on anything but this....I could push forward with an appeal but I think he desperately needs to recharge his batteries and step back a bit until the next court hearing in June. This has been going on since the end of 2010 when the mothers neglect and drug use first became apparent. In May 11 my son got his son and in September 11 he was awarded custody but it didnt stop then and its been an ongoing battle with the mother as her behaviour has just continued to deteriorate.

Hi Jane

If you haven't already, I'd have another word with the CCLC and see what your options are. Perhaps you and your son can get your grandson to draw pictures of how he's feeling when he comes back from contact (he's too young to keep a diary), and possibly before he goes as well. The court order is perfectly clear though, so if the grandmother doesn't stick to the conditions, then I'd look at immediately suspending contact and going back to court for a variation - hopefully, you'll then get a different judge who can see some sense.

I'd definitely go for the MF course - with all of the help you give on here, you are a natural and have a definite speciality in childrens cases.

Aw thanks for your kind words actd 🙂

Well my grandson was dropped off this morning....my son had talked to him about what had been decided and he seemed happy to go along with it. This poses the question, whether he was refusing to go because he felt that was what Daddy wanted. Although we all tried really hard not to involve our little one in all the nastiness that was flying about, he probably picked up on all of the pre-court stress and tension, and probably overheard the odd remark too....I actually think its nigh on impossible to keep it from them, especially when there is such closeness between father and son, as is the case here.

I've spoken to my son about this this morning, its easy to lose sight of what is the most important thing in situations like this. When accusations are flying and the mother and her family are being hostile and abusive. Yes the mothers behaviour warranted suspension of contact, and yes stopping my grandson from going to the mothers house was the right thing to do and still is. We wanted supervised contact at a contact centre, we didnt get that and we had to compromise with supervision at the maternal grandmothers house. Having had a few days to step back from it all we are able to see that the only thing that matters is to see our little one safe and happy, we now have to look forward not back....not forgetting what the mother has done, but working with the courts and agencies to try and stop it happening again. Dont get me wrong we dont think for one minute that the mother has changed her ways, and there could well be episodes in the future that we will have to deal with, but for now the situation is being managed.

This morning the mother was polite and gave my son £5 petrol money as agreed, her daughter came out to the car with her and was allowed to have a little chat and kisses with my son, so at the start of the first visit things are as they should be, I sincerely hope that this can continue. It will be a while before my grandson will be allowed to return to the mothers house and we will work hard to achieve the right balance. Trust has to be rebuilt and it will take time.

As far as the McKenzie Friend course is concerned, Its under serious consideration! It might turn out to be a family affair as my son and daughter are both expressing interest in attending too! 😉

That's excellent news - let's hope it continues this way.

So wrong, and as for Cafcass and reports,,,, no more needs to be said.
I do wish you the best oh and what is LIP ???

Thanks Bill 🙂

A LIP stands for Litigant in Person....a person without legal representation in court.