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My husband is finding it very difficult emotionally at the moment that's why I have decided to join a forum on his behalf to see what help there is out there. We need hope, advice and a means to carry on this uphill long drawn battle.
My husband had a brief affair with a woman which resulted in a beautiful little boy who is now nearly 3. From the child being a baby we have both had regular contact with him, until we got married last year. Now all contact with the child has stopped. The mother has made it clear that she wants to sever contact by changing all means of communication with us. We do not know how the child is, where he is, all contact has stopped.
We decided to instruct mediators to act impartially to resolve this and to get immediate access to the child. 4 months on and the mediators have only just managed to get a meeting with the mother, no date is set to resume contact or discuss a contact arrangement.
We are heartbroken, we saw the child up to 3 times a week, to nothing. The hardest part is, the mother has no reason or issue to stop the contact, yet she has and noone in a professional capacity is telling her that what she is doing is wrong. Any parent who cuts immediate contact is not acting in the best interest of the child. Yet noone is helping us to reach a compromise. There are no advice lines that can help within a legal capacity to put us at ease. We saw a solicitor and they advised us to stick with the mediation. The mediation are saying it may be time to proceed with court.
Why do these matters take so long, its like nobody cares and that a resident parent can for no reason stop all contact with no repercussions.
is there someone out there that can help us, has advice? has a similar story?
Much appreciated
K x
Hi and welcome
Unfortunately, these things can take time, though I think Babyreecedaddy has had a reasonable amount of success in speeding up the process by chasing things up a lot, so may be worth reading his posts or hopefully he'll comment on here.
If the mediation are saying it's time to go to court, get that in writing from them (and the reason why) and don't waste any further time pursuing mediation - go for the contact order asap.
Thankyou for your advice it is appreciated I will take a look at the other member thank you and i'll let you know how we get on
K xxx
I think the one good thing that you have so far is that a meeting for mediation has been set up. Once she goes for this meeting (They won't tell you when it is until after it's happened) then that will give you a clearer picture.
I'm in Scotland so I don't know how relevant my circumstances are but if your husband has had regular access to the child from when born until fairly recently then he has obviously had a big impact on the child's life. It would be worth basing the case on this fact and it is not in the interests of the child that contact cease.
In terms of moving forward, I'd give the mediation a chance if she has now booked an appointment however failing that I'd instruct a solicitor to commence legal action. If you are in Scotland I can advise you a lot better as I now know the system pretty well.
But either way, good luck!
🙂 thank you for the advice, I do appreciate it, I am in Manchester and agree with everything you have said, and your advice has made me feel alot better..
My husband has had regular contact since birth in 2010 and has had weekly contact upto last December.
I feel ashamed to be a woman in this situation, the horror stories of women using children to get back at the Dad is outrageous, I didn't realise how rife it was until being in the situation myself, the law needs to change. Equal parenting is a MUST where possible, a child needs a Mother and a Father and I will continue to advocate this fact until my last breath,
The law as it stands allows mothers of children to stop access with no repercussions, if the laws were tighter I think these situations would dwindle. its just a long drawn out battle
Thanks again for the advice, I will update this status if/when this gets resolved,
I am hopeful we will get there in the end
Kate :kiss:
Good stuff I'm glad that made you feel a little better.
Remember, reasonable, reasonable, reasonable!! It sucks but giving her the benefit of the doubt for a while will only go in your husband's favour. Patience for now, but if mediation fails then crank up the power and get her [censored] in court.
Good luck!
haha that made me laugh 😀
Babyreecesdaddy one last thing
We did have our 1st appointment this Friday but the mother cannot make it so its now set for 5th April, I am not convinced mediation will work because the Mother so far has been very difficult to even make an initial appointment with.
The mediation has offered to issue an FM1 form for the court to run along side the Mediation appointment, the appointment is £150.00 and the form is £105.00
do you think this is worth doing?
K x
I feel ashamed to be a woman in this situation, the horror stories of women using children to get back at the Dad is outrageous, I didn't realise how rife it was until being in the situation myself
Don't be ashamed - in any walk of life, there is always a tiny majority that, if allowed, would give the vast majority of any group a bad name. And there are certainly a number of equally appalling men out there. The fact that you are on here trying to sort this out sets you apart from the women who behave badly. 🙂
Actd thanks for those lovely words, what a nice man you are.... and what a team we make! 8)
Kate, you'll only need the FM1 if Mediation fails, and you would then submit it along with the C100 when applying for contact. 🙂
😀
I know from experience that there are some bad women out there - my last ex was (and still is) one of them.
I also know there are some good ones - I'm married to one of them now, and my first ex was also one (we just decided we weren't meant to be married after about 7 years - nothing went bad, and we are still the best of friends)
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