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[Solved] non uk mom


Posts: 2
Registered
Topic starter
(@verysaddad)
New Member
Joined: 13 years ago

hi cant sleep m8s,

im afraid ill never see my children again

,its already eating away at me even thought it hasn't happened yet

married a us girl here 6 1/2 years ago
our daughter was born in the uk 5 1/2 years ago
she was pregnant with our son when she went back to her parents over 4 years ago
my son was born in the usa and is 4
both kids are dual nationals
i remained here to look after my 90 year plus father and ailing mother
my and my wifes relationship from afar grew strong we spoke on the phone hours a day me talking top the kids everyday
and she decided it was time tom come back
in the meantime my dad had passe away
while were were preparing the spousal visa
my mom passed away
she came back with the kids here 9 months ago on a 2 year spousal visa
the little girl is in school doing well
the lad well hes doing well and is a right lad
ive just found out a secret....told to me by my daughter
she plans to return to the usa with the kids after her mother father come visit in july
i guess we will be longer Friends we wont talk hours a day like before
i will have no rights or decisions to her...our...children
she claims the kids are more hers-
shes invested more and looked after them longer than me
if i try keeping them here she says im trapping them
she misses her parents the food her sister

but i wont miss my kids....verysaddad


4 Replies
4 Replies
Registered
(@Nannyjane)
Joined: 14 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 5426

Hi there 🙂

I understand completely how you must be feeling and I wish I could give you some good news but its a very difficult situation as the mother is not British.

You do have the right to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order that would prevent your wife from taking the children out of the country and this would buy you some time... this would inevitably have a detrimental effect on your relationship with your wife, she is already using terms such as being "trapped". However she can apply to remove them from uk juristriction and the odds are she would succeed. There is a lot of case law concerning this and Judges are led by it, if you look up Payne versus Payne you will find a lot of info about your particular situation.

Is there no opportunity for you to go back to the US with them?

The other thing you could try would be Relate, they are experienced with family break down and can offer counselling. It might help your wife to understand the full implications for you all as a family. Heres a link - www.relate.org.uk

Mediation is another option, and again it will give you both an opportunity to talk through all of the issues and come to a better understanding. Heres a link - www.nfm.org.uk

Both of these services charge a fee but if you are on benefits or a low income you could get help with this.

To get a better legal perspective I'll ask the moderators to get in touch with the Coram Childrens Legal Centre and ask them to give you some advice...this may take a couple of days or so but if you need advice urgently then you can contact them...theres a link to their website at the bottom of the page and they have a freephone number and webchat.

Best of luck with it all 🙂


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 actd
Registered
(@dadmod4)
Joined: 16 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 11897

Thanks NJ - I'll ask the CCLC to pop by.


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Registered
(@verysaddad)
Joined: 13 years ago

New Member
Posts: 2

thankyou

i hope we willl work it out


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Registered
(@childrenslegalcentre)
Joined: 17 years ago

Honorable Member
Posts: 447

Hello there,

If you are married to the mother of your children, then you have shared parental responsibility for the children (equal rights and responsibilities) with the mother and this means that she is required to obtain your consent in order to move to the USA with the children. If you refuse to provide consent for the children to move abroad, your wife could apply to court for a removal from jurisdiction order, to obtain the court's permission to move abroad with the children, and you would be given the opportunity to defend this application if you feel that it is not in the children’s best interests and to put forward your side in court. Where court approval is required the court will consider the motives for the move and whether the issue has been fully thought through. The court will look at the likely effect on the children, applying the Welfare Checklist (Sect 1(3) of the Children’s Act 1989). The court will also continue the opportunity for continuing contact with the other parent.

If you have concerns that your wife may try to take the children to the USA without your consent, you could apply for a prohibited steps order to stop this action. If the children are taken abroad for more than a month without your permission, you have grounds to start abduction proceedings at this stage. You may want to contact Reunite to get further advice on abduction (01162556234)

If you do not want the children to move to the USA you could discuss this situation with your wife through mediation. You could contact National Family Mediation for further advice on mediation (03004000636).

If you have any further questions please contact our advice line for further assistance. The advice line number is 08088020008 and our advisors are available from 8am to 8pm Monday to Friday.

Yours sincerely,

Coram Children’s Legal Centre


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