[Solved] Please help me with my rights and responsibilities

Im not expert but from what i understand you have parental responsibility if you were married at the time of the birth and your surname is on the birthcertificate .
Court is the way for you my friend dont be put off by expense , theres help out there for everyone . yes it can be long drawn out . but it may tell your ex your serious with your intentions .
This site will help you im sure and good luck .

She won't have been able to legally change his surname without your consent BUT she can use a "known by" surname for schools and doctors where they know his legal surname but he's on registers as a different one.

Yes, you have the right to know all of these things, you even have a say in which schools he goes to, etc although of course that's easier said than done!

How old is your son? Best of luck mate.

Hi guys thanks for the replies. My son is 4 years old, bit more info that I have found out. He has just recently started nursery on an RAF base. I have checked up the local council guidelines for this school and they quote:

"You must supply the child's legal surname.
We can only accept a different name if you supply written evidence that everyone who has parental responsibility for the child consents to the change. A deed poll is not sufficient to allow us to accept a name other than the legal name."

On this basis, surely this cannot be argued with. I have signed nothing to say I accept him registered in a different name?

I would say that those guidelines are very clear, so I would write (enclosing a copy of the guidelines and birth certificate) and get it changed, and ask for a written acknowledgement to the nursery and any other organisation you think may have been misinformed.

Yes, ACTD is quite right too and whilst writing to those organisations you can ask to be notified direct of anything in relation to nursery stuff...I was also going to say GP etc, buts not possible I suspect these days! 😆 However, if you asked to know something they should tell you. You have every right to know where your child is being educated, medical, religion.

She most certainly cannot change your child's name legally without consent.

Have you thought about trying mediation?

The last straw then is as Mooner says, court action. There is no legal aid for children matters now, either for you or her (unless she claims DV). The Court fee for the application is £200 (unless you are exempt from court fees) and you represent yourself. Many Dads here have done it and you may want to give that some thought.

Mediation will cost you about £100 and the Court will want you to have attended mediation to discuss your difficulties before the action is started anyway.