Worse and worse.
Son is in an awful state. Things at mums getting worse and worse. They have previously told me to speak to his mum about anything - how can I speak to such a volatile person about such bad things? Just to give her chance to cover things up and manipulate our son? Feel completely backed into a corner. SS have placed all onus on us to "get along" and put me in the position where if I come forward with things.. if I am not telling his mum everything and kissing her backside.. then I am the disruptive one that isn't trying hard enough.
Son is an exhausted mess, deathly pale, looking ill, so tired he was falling asleep eating dinner on first day here this contact. Yet another new man in the house. Drinking. Son being sent to bed with computer games, awake after the rest of the house has gone to bed then kept awake further by mum and new mans "antics". Physical chastisement continuing, son retaliating. Mum describes him as rude, "gobby", regularly throws tantrums at her and screams at her. Still see nothing of the sort here. Son begged to stay here this week so he can sleep.
He says he's spoken to his teacher at school about some things over the last few weeks, sw hasn't contacted me or mum or been to see him at school. So either the school or the sw is still obsessed with the idea that he lies and not taking things seriously.
SN course that sw sent me and mum on (as per SS plan), organizer told us both that she could see us on different days depending on our schedules and accommodate to work around us. I start work, phone to arrange to do the SN course on my days off and get told I have to wait four months until the next course (which I still won't be able to do if she can't accommodate!). No wriggle room. SS setting me up to fail.
Sw is corrupt, her line manager is corrupt, department manager defends everything line manager says.. I can't take on all of these people. I recently found out that I nearly had to fight to continue contact with my son based on SS b******* allegations. They could destroy things so much more than they are doing now.
...have you thought about a serious case review?
Rather than speaking to the SW, with each incident write to them stating that you wish for your letter to be filed, as you have tried to speak to the mother without success. Report what you find at each contact visit and reiterate that your only concern is your sons welfare. Also mention the course and that there is a four month period until the next available space.
Keep copies of your letters and send them recorded signed for so that you have proof that they have been delivered.
You could also go and see your MP as your son is being let down by the very people that should be protecting him, your efforts to protect him have been thwarted and you are very worried for his welfare. They may be able to help.
To be honest, I'm scared witless. They have the power to stop him having contact with me based on their utter ignorance. They told his mum months ago to see a solicitor with view to stop contact based on the "emotional abuse", she did and they umm'd and ahh'd about whether they could actually recommend it officially or not.
The last time I spoke to his mum about anything - which wasn't something awfully negative at her, as neutrally as possible, she got abusive on the phone to me, demanded to speak to our son then screamed at him on the phone until he was an hysterical mess cowering behind his bedroom door holding the phone crying to her that he was sorry and wouldn't say anything again. I was absolutely horrified, spoke to the social worker and her response? "Oh yes.. his mum mentioned he got upset about something. I asked him about it and he said it was nothing". That was in August, while he was still on the child protection plan. Funnily enough they chose to talk about my non existent autism rather than that in the reports!
She still hasn't even looked into the anger management courses they ORDERED her to attend "asap" back in JUNE after she punched someone in the face infront of her children, and just wrote "X hasn't attended X programme yet as she doesn't feel that she needs it".. well that's ok then!?
I want to do this, this needs to be sorted for our son, he has had six years of [censored]. He needs normality and stability. I'm so scared that if social services can come after me this much and ignore the real problems because of one meeting I had with the managers - what the [censored] will they do when I go to my MP?!
Not sure if they can help, but it might be worth contacting NSPCC for advise - worst that will happen is you'll be no wiser, but they did help me (well, morespecifically my son) quite a long way in the past