As actd has said...if you can't agree with her and you have to work on this day, offering to organise / pay for the childcare would possibly be an easier way forward. As she is the resident parent, you cannot be forced to take up the contact on the day listed in the order. From what you have said about your ex, she would probably insist that you resolve childcare for that day anyway.
I don't think there is a restriction on how many holidays the resident parent can take but if they decided to implement a pattern as you have suggested, you could apply for a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent this happening.
Ive been keeping quiet about my own situation for a while trying to ride out the bumps the best I can. But today I feel really [censored] fed up. Nothing even changes.
My arrangements were by way of judge led mediation;
a day time per week and an overnight per week tea time to tea time.
Then came december and stopping the mid week because I couldnt promise to keep it up. There seems a major issue with this as shes oging back to work full time and wont have the midweek - purely a career choice as she wants to progress - not remotely financial.
Court date.
Reinstated.
Also swapped to full weekends, fri-sun at noon - because of the childs age, just 11 months. With a week due in the summer. Thus less time overall.
Weekday was 10-6, she returns to work, wants 830-6, fine, starts arriving at 730 and when Im not home, in the gym but back by 8, In not prioritising and "late". With 27 missed calls in a 40 min period. if this was vice versa it would be harassment. I refused t apologise and stated we can agree earlier, she wont of course but still wants to arrive when it suits.
4 days (the monday) after court she goes around changing his name, I put a stop to this, she blocks my car demanding a conversation about having her name and later rings repeatedly questioning the validity of my own name.
I ask for more time for bank holidays, denied.
I ask to extend sunday to 6pm gradually by two hours fortnight before the summer break and to allow more time to visit family and have outings. denied.
then come more random messages about my apparent behaviour, its why I record every handover - but of course this isnt "what british and reasonable people do" but how do I protect myself. Previously Ive received messages saying "how dare you threaten me" I was 40 miles away in a sauna with my brother. Like somehow her saying it on text email or letter makes it "true".
I'm essentially requesting to extend the weekend gradually up to 6 hours once per fortnight more in order to see family and do more activities.Of course this is responded with "I think we should stick to the order"
My CMS payment entered the bank early due to the payment date and my pay day falling at the weekend. She rang the CMS before 9am to report this, already rectified and for less than 50 pounds.
I was unavailable on a single weekday in the entirety of our seperation, I arranged for nursery to have and paid them.
I recently attended accident and emergency with the child with a high fever and was informed there that they had been the week before (with another name change) and with all communications reporting him to be ok.
She states Im going to end up abusing child as my childhood wasnt hers.
Where does this become ok for the "vulnerable" woman to say? To ring repeatedly? to hassle? to report to CMS within a matter of hours? without it becoming hostile? becoming harassment? Can me not be molested?
The order was drafted by her solicitor as I was informed it was a FHDRA but was actually final!! so didnt include name paragraph (not know by any other...) or any other details bar we can agree, shes saying we can still agree, but never does, also Im only requesting I go back to two full days at the weekend rather than lunch so we can visit family and go out. firday - bed, saturday full day, sunday, breakfast, park if lucky and not asleep - back to mum, i want to be able to visit family AND have a day out. Is this so unreasonable? Now 14 months old, agreed full week with me when 11 months, but 5-6 hours a fortnight is a big fat NO stating "lack of long term stability" - it wasnt a temporary request.
yet again, mediation, certificate, application - Id be tempted to hire a brief (although another FHDRA...) to draft the letter on my behalf and be more specific.
Twiston, she's never going to make this easy although there will come a time in the not too distant future if you take this back to court that she's just going to show herself up. She's unlikely to ever communicate with you effectively or agree anything because she probably thrives on the confrontation and drama.
🙁