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[Solved] Distance from School

 
Sad_Dad_77
(@Sad_Dad_77)
Active Member Registered

Hi all, just going through final details of separation plan, we're going for 50/50 which is still 50% less than the time I want with them but I don't get a choice about that sadly. Question I have is once we sell family home my ex will rent in the same town we live in currently, I'm stuck with where to live, I can only afford a smallish house in our current town and not sure seeing the ex around will help me get over her. I have family 15 miles away including cousins who my kids are very close too and they love the area there but I'll be doing school run half the time so do you think this is too far away? Kids are 8 and 6. Really finding it tough to decide, if it was just me if move where the family are but it's not just me..

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Topic starter Posted : 19/01/2020 1:58 am
warwickshire1
(@warwickshire1)
Honorable Member Registered

Has your ex partner agreed you can have children 50 % of time or is that what you are hoping to get?

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Posted : 19/01/2020 2:32 am
Sad_Dad_77
(@Sad_Dad_77)
Active Member Registered

We have agreed, to be honest she has been quite absent for the last few months so I knew she wouldn't fight that.

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Topic starter Posted : 19/01/2020 2:36 am
MySunFlower
(@MySunFlower)
Active Member Registered

I think it's too far away. Long-distance parenting is one of the most difficult challenges. Kids need their parents to be close both physically and emotionally. Even the best relationships become strained with added distance.

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Posted : 20/01/2020 4:48 pm
Yoda
 Yoda
(@yoda)
Famed Member

I would say it would depend on the travel times, what form of transport you are using etc.

It's harder to make 50/50 work if you're not in the same area.

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Posted : 20/01/2020 5:27 pm
warwickshire1
(@warwickshire1)
Honorable Member Registered

15 miles isn't too far away. a school run would be manageable. Question is can you do sometimes 60 miles of driving in 1 day doing school runs as kids will be going to school near their mums house . 15 miles one way could take its toll further down line and travel costs etc

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Posted : 21/01/2020 12:58 am
Sad_Dad_77
(@Sad_Dad_77)
Active Member Registered

Thanks for the advice guys, I'd be driving kids to school and then hopping on train into London and picking them back up at 6 (putting them in after school club 2 evenings)
I can just get much more for my money there so kids have separate rooms and it's a nice location which they know and like, my brother and his kids already live there. My main concern is missing out on ad-hoc visits and kids not being around school friends at weekend's/holidays.

Must admit I like the idea of being away from the same town as my Ex but ultimately will stay if it's best for the kids...on that point we haven't told them yet, what do you guys think of involving them in decision about where I live? They might find the house viewing exciting and cushion the blow of losing their home

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Topic starter Posted : 21/01/2020 2:22 am
Hubs
 Hubs
(@Hubs)
Active Member Registered

This may become an issue.

How would your kids feel when they are with you knowing they have a 1.5-2 hour commute per day? Will they want to do that for a few years? Can you cope with it too?

Can you change the school so it’s equidistant?
I read somewhere in the DfE regs that 50/50 means the school should be in the centre unless the council has their own policy on the matter which then overrides the DfE guidelines eg if the council state that they use the receiver of child benefits as the primary carer address.

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Posted : 02/02/2020 1:08 pm
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