Often the bad image we have of ourselves as adults comes from the things said to us when we were young, things that belittled us in some way, the effects of which have stayed with us ever since.
What effect have the words spoken over you as a child had on your adult life?
How long do you have dude - i have spent years of my adult life getting over the crud spoken over me as a child. Words said to me made me end up paranoid, self hating, confused, angry... i ended up with an eating disorder and loads of other issues that took control of my life. Still find people in leadership over me hard to handle - words can really damage and yet i find myself saying things to my kids that i think are awful like sut up and go away.... i hate those phrases but whn i'm tired and iritable they just fall out of my mouth...
I really look forward to bed-time with my kids, but often tired at that point and it does not take much before I start snapping at them 🙁
However, it's sort of easy to notice those ones (not always before hand) - it's the ones that where you don't realise you've done anything. My daughter is 5 and I am the sort of person to say very silly things, there was one week where I made jokes about her being fat (she is NOT in the slightest). About a month later (literally) - she starts making comments about her being fat. I was horrified - thankfully we have cleared that one up now!
Word is a cultural entity. We can make comments to our children which can affect them significantly. This same statement made in another part of the world is expected to build their self esteem and confidence. I sometimes find this interesting. The real issue is that the more you get to know and appreciate individuals as a person whether within your family, a neighbour, work colleague or even a complete stranger then you will begin to respect how to use words wisely. Crossing that line of understanding your choice of words is usually a lifetime experience so dont be to hard on yourself... life is a learning process
Word is a cultural entity. We can make comments to our children which can affect them significantly. This same statement made in another part of the world is expected to build their self esteem and confidence. I sometimes find this interesting. The real issue is that the more you get to know and appreciate individuals as a person whether within your family, a neighbour, work colleague or even a complete stranger then you will begin to respect how to use words wisely. Crossing that line of understanding your choice of words is usually a lifetime experience so dont be to hard on yourself... life is a learning process
I remember my dad comparing me to a friend of mine and asking why i couldn't be more like him - it floored me at the time but i actually found in later life i was still looking for his (& others) affirmation that i was better than the next man.... weird.....
At the time in question my dad had been ill and my friend came in and asked him whether he was feeling better - after he'd gone my dad snapped at me about why i hadnt asked that.... and why i couldn't be more like him....
Whilst i'm sure the general insecurity didnt just come from just that experience it certainly is a dominant memory as i look back...
Words are powerful eh! Thinking about it my boy is quiet sensitive (like i was) and so i am mindful not to compare him to others..... sometimes it's just easy though if you think they are being a bit of a coward or whining..... Cheers Koka you got me thinking...