My son came up against his initial experience of intimidation at school yesterday.
My son is in reception, started in January and took a while to adjust to the new surroundings. He went to the toilet and a boy from a year above prevented him from entering by standing in the doorway. My son wet himself and the boy laughed. A teacher came along and took my son back to his class, spoke to his class teacher and had his clothes changed. When I picked him up at end of school, I was told he had a toilet accident. Before leaving the school, I spoke to him about what happened (as he has never had a toilet accident and is so self concious about such). I then spoke to the teacher to let her know that he was prevented from entering the toilet, thus leading to him weeing himself. She spoke to him then about it. He tells me that he was not asked what happened by his class teacher.
I wrote a letter the school last night setting out the facts as I understood them and basically asking that the matter be taken as intimidation and that it be dealt with swiftly and firmly to ensure that it does not escalate or continue.
He was upset last night (although I think we were upset more) that it had apparently been taken as a case of new nervous boy wetting himself rather than finding out from him what happened.
Woke up this morning wondering whether I was over reacting, although my wife thinks definitely best thing, nip it in the bud and ensure that the school know that we are involved parents. Have to admit that there is a knot in my stomach about how could this older boy pick on my little boy......
is it intimidation or bullying... sounds like bullying to me my friend.... check out the article on the site under articles about bullying. Got to rush off now but i'll come back with more thoughts soon. Esp as a prospetive school govenor..!
Thanks wwf
Glad I sent the letter today.
The class teacher responded today that the child in question is very special education needs (SEN). I felt better about it as his actions were not malicious as I originally, he is just not socially aware, although the school has spoken to him. This at least allowed me to speak to my son about the issue and discuss learning and other difficulties that some children have.
I do feel though, that if they had at least asked my son what happened (rather than assuming that nervous, new child had just wet himself) that it could have all been cleared up on the same day, before I even picked him up and the incident explained to me, rather than having to write an official letter about the incident. Hopefully a learning experience for all concerned. At least I feel more confident that my son is better prepared now having 1) had the experience 2) been able to talk it through fully
:geek: its a natural feeling of a parents to act like that just be sure now all the time you make always over reacting 😮 , try to control ur feeling in order that ur child can understand you more... 😉
Hi Zaden
Hows your boy doing since the incident in Feb? Is he settled at school now, any more issues with the bigger boy?
WWF
Hey West Wing
Thanks for asking. He is doing fine, no more issues. The other child has been given additional support.
My biggest issue now is the new words he is coming out with. His latest one is to tell me or his mum to "shutup". Not an issue most of the time, but ooooooo, it soooooo annoys me and the missus at other times....... 🙄
we had that too... with both kids... luckily we managed to cut it right at the beginning. so no more 'shutups' at home.
in school they had this big conversation about being 'rude' and 'polite', but somehow teachers must have missed some aspects of it.
i guess it's important to have a simple conversation, explaining why this is bad and how not to talk to people like that, when they get used to it, it might just become a habit..