Good evening all.
I'm looking for some advice.
My wife and I are looking to move ourselves and our baby daughter to France. My wife is French. My employer has asked that I work from France as my base and it is currently split between mainland Europe and the UK, meaning I can work from home pretty much anywhere in Europe. My wife wants to be closer to her family and having been in the UK for seven years, she wants to go home.
The challenge is, I have two children to an ex-wife. I see the youngest every other weekend and the eldest once a month. Obviously, this is not something I would be able to continue, but I would propose to see them for extended periods in holidays. My job has me in the UK a lot, and I will always be back to see parents and brother as well as being available to see my children.
I feel I will get more quality time with them this way and bizarrely I think they will be more likely to pick up the phone/skype/facetime than I get now as they take for granted I am a couple of cities away.
I want to do it for my wife and daughter, but I'm not sure how to broach the subject with the ex-wife. Anyone have any suggestions, gently gently, or rip off the plaster/band-aid?
Only you know your ex, but I would say it's best as a gentle conversation. Don't forget it will affect your ex's life too, so if you can help her woth any adjustments, then hopefully she'll be more amenable to helping you with contact.
I agree, a gentle step by step approach is probably better, your ex and your children are likely to be unhappy at first, but give them time to think about it and adjust to the idea.
Think about how you will make it work for them, there are many dads that can make it work, with extended holidays and lots of indirect contact. Put a positive spin on it, lots of fun things to do living in France in the summer, sell it to them and I'm sure they will come round.
All the best