Hello everyone. I'm new to this forum thing so please bear with me.
To save wearing your eyes out I will try to be brief.
I married for the first time in 1990 and it last seven years. She cheated on me a couple of times and beat me.
Divorce, csa etc and I'm over it.... Almost.
Her parting shot was a threat to have me arrested. Empty threat I thought.
Many years later I met someone who I truly believed I would grow old and die with. Two beautiful kids and a good job.
Then the empty threat came back to haunt me. Out of the blue I was arrested for unspeakable things that I hadn't done.
It came to nothing but it was the first nail in the coffin of my marriage.
Bad depression and work stresses came to a head just over 2 years ago and it broke us. My wife said it was over, she didn't love me.
I begged, I pleaded but we ended up separated and I have tried my damndest to rebuild my life.
Bottom line I still love her. How do I get past it. How do I accept its over? I get so sad just hearing her voice when I call my kids and seeing her.... I just want her to hold me.
Am I the only one? Logic and rational thought say no but it doesn't feel like it.
Hi and welcome to the forum
You're not alone & sorry to hear that you're struggling.
Have you spoken to your GP about getting some counselling or possibly medication to help you? Do you have friends around, any hobbies or things to distract you?
I know it's really hard to do a lot of those things when you're feeling low and grieving, but I would really consider going to speak to your GP, they're usually really good at helping with mental health.
Best of luck
Thanks. Already seeing gp and taking anti depressants. I do have my hobbies and a fantastic job. It is good to know there are people out there who know what it's like.
So many people go through painful separations, but it's very easy to feel like you're the only one. I know it's a cliche but often it's just a case of time making things easier.
Sending best wishes
It's great that you have such a fantastic job, you can really throw yourself into it and hopefully get plenty of support to get through this time in your life.
It will get better, allow yourself to grieve and if you have family and friends that you can turn to, then don't be afraid to open up to them if you're having a hard time. As time goes on you'll have more good days than bad days.
All the best
If you don't already, take up some form of physical exercise - it will help you to get yourself in good shape and come off the anti-depressants earlier. Ideally, some sort of group exercise, cycling club etc where you can also make new friends.
Hi There,
As others have said it's fully understandable, many people feel exactly the same way, mojo touched on grieving and we do say that coming out of a relationship that you didn't want to end is very similar to losing a loved one through death we deal with it in the same way, and it's the same you can't wake up the day after someone passes away and feel ok, and stop thinking about them, and when you then throw into that the fact that the person you miss and didn't want to lose is still alive and in your life through your children it makes it worse.
We have helped many dad's through this and the first thing to do is talk about it, which you have started doing, you are doing the right thing by seeing your doctor and hopefully that is helping you.
as said it will take time and exercise will help to make yourself feel better about yourself, it will also help you to sleep as well.
GTTS