My ex partner was having an affair with my brother in law . we are now split up we have a kid together who is now got a step dad/uncle and their cousin is there step brother ...
Is there anything legally I can do about this . this will be psychologically damaging to the kids upbringing I'm really comcerend
Hello Ryan2516,
The kind of separation you describe with your spouse choosing to have a relationship with another family member, directly affects more people in one family than if it were someone from another family. I expect there are a number of people in the family struggling with their emotions at present.
I do not believe there is anything you can do as the choice they have made is not an illegal one. In saying that I'm assuming your Ex's partner is not her brother but your sister's husband.
Regarding the children, of course they will be upset as they are having to adapt from what they know to a different family arrangement.
I believe your statement, quote, ".....this will be psychologically damaging to the kids upbringing.....," may not be necessarily correct. I think it all depends on how all the adults in the family talk and behave towards the children. They are children who need love, security, fun and a healthy environment in which to thrive. They also need to be able to express freely any concerns they have so they can then be reassured.
What children do not want is to hear adult conversations, arguing, emotional outbursts or any hostility in the family. If a concerted effort is made by the parents and the extended family to maintain good contact and relationships with the children then there should be minimal or no psychological damage caused. It is a case of putting the children first and sorting out the adult issues in private so that the children are not involved or aware of them.
Thank you very much for your reply. The arrangement with the two is , She is dating my sisters husband. So the kids from both sides are related . I totally agree with the mids not hearing arguing , bickering or disrespectful comments .
This has ripped a full family to shreds and its not easy being civil at times (from her side) that is .
Thank you for the advice really appreciated from impartial point of view
Hello Ryan2516,
In my message to you I intended to write your "sister's husband" and NOT your "sister's brother," apologies. I shall correct the mistake I made in my original message.
It is obviously a dreadful time for the whole family. I feel that if you and all the family can make the children the centre of your world, they will be protected from this huge "fall out" and in turn it will help you all to "keep your feet on the ground" and gradually reduce the stress and heartache you all must be feeling.
What I would say is that if the children ask questions tell them the truth in a simple, loving and unemotional manner. This will give them the reassurance they probably need at this particular time.
Please message again if you want an opinion on anything or if you feel you just need to talk or ramble about your thoughts. I understand there are many emotions involved in how you and other family members must be feeling. I can imagine it must feel as though it is the total destruction of the family unit. It can be rebuilt !
As said previously, I believe your starting point is concentrating on all the children involved.