I am new to this site and wanted to try and get some help where possible I can.
I have been with my partner for a while and she has 2 little girls already and we are expecting our first son together in a few weeks - nervous but excited at the same time right now.
I will be honest and from time to time I struggle with being to strict with her two girls already (they are aged 4(5 in march) and the other is 3), I am not sure if this is a natural thing as they are testing the relationship between myself and there mother or if it is a connection I have with teaching children Judo for a living to primary school children.
On another note the youngest was going up and down the stairs fine then all of a sudden she woke up and would not walk down them anymore - is this normal or not?
Hi NewAgeDad
Welcome to Dadtalk and congratulations on becoming a stepdad and to the forthcoming birth of your son! It's a busy time for you and you are bound to feel a mixture of nerves, excitement and to be apprehensive.
It can be hard to be strict with someone else's children but as a stepdad you are every bit as responsible for the disciploine as their mum. Talk to her about the way she handles the discipline and work out together the right approach - clearly you both need to be consistent and similar in how you deal with issues as they crop up. You need to be in agreement so that any decisions made by one of you, the other will back you up, to be seen as a team. Many men in a similar situation are willing to give all discipline and authority over the kids to their natural mother but this can undermine your place of authority in the home.
It will take time for you to bond as a family but I hope the arrival of your newborn will help to cement your new family. All children push boundaries and it is not unusual for children to try and spot a chink in the armour - but it sounds as if you are well aware of this.
Not sure what the reason for the youngest not going downstairs one day was all about. Has it continued? Do you think she may have had a bad dream, or slipped one time and this is making her wary? Do you think it may be a way of getting attention? Difficult I know to get an answer from a 3 year old - she may not know herself.
I hope this helps.