Hi
I've separated from my wife just a month and a half ago and am trying to move on but a lot of items need agreed upon and goal posts seem to keep moving with my wife who has a strange sense of reality.
We have a big squall of children so the family car carries quite a few. Prior to moving out of the matrimonial home, there was agreement between us that I could have access to the family car when I had all the children and the car was required for taxing around. Since then my wife has decided that I should be paying a portion of the up keep of the car.
I have no issues with paying for a percentage of the up keep, she calculated based on the last 2 years bills and assessed that I should pay a percentage based on how often i might use the vehicle, which is double my approximation. The crux of the problem is she has incorporated into her estimate the annual fuel consumption costs. I advised her that I had no issues with paying a percentage of the repair bills, insurance and road tax, but the fuel consumption was already part of any support payment and household bills.
She thought this was unfair and now has offered to charge me per day usage of the vehicle for driving my children around when they are with me. Since the car was purchased during the marriage, I asked her if she would be paying me for use of the vehicle when she used it.
Am trying to keep this amicable but it's getting tricky as she is also manipulating when the older children can stay with me to suit her agenda for going out for the night with her boyfriend. Can she dictate when I can see my kids or shouldn't it be discussed?
I get the feeling that this may escalate into expensive solicitor bills.
Regards,
Moving On
Hi there and welcome 🙂
You've only just separated, and as you acknowledge, theres lots of things to sort out.... at least you are both still communicating, and you are trying to keep it amicable. I can understand the points you make about the car and it must be very frustrating for you.
She can dictate the terms of contact with the children as she is the resident parent, but of course this should be discussed...a good way to achieve this and to reach a fair agreement is to go for Mediation...it will work out a lot cheaper than solicitors fees! Mediation is where you would both attend at a mediation centre, and with the guidance of a trained mediator, talk through all the issues and hopefully reach agreement. Heres a link ~ www.nfm.org.uk
Good luck with it all and let us know how you get on 🙂
Sorry been organising mediation and Christmas stuff.
I've decided that the car usage fee thing was a no go and will save up to buy my own vehicle rather than having to deal with the manipulating wife.
Well had my first mediation meeting and went all right and agreed to joint meeting with wife in the new year. Initially to firm up expectations and arrangements for the children and later iron out the finances.
Had a discussion with my wife tonight and she offered to leave my pensions and savings alone if I give up any equity in the house and said it would be nearly equal. She surprised me when she included my mother's residence which was signed over to all her children to save on inheritance tax. I was in shock that she would consider that in any separation discussions.
Should my mothes' residence be taken into consideration?
She has always stated that she and her man would be moving in together in the next two to three years as the house wasn't big enough for all the kids and him. Apparently, he needs an office at home to do work. He has offered to support her and some of the family bills, but she is unwilling to accept it as she believes it unfair for him to support another persons' children. I said that he knew what he was getting into when they started this relationship.
Would I be liable for spousal support
Her man has been living in the family house for the last 2 months and is suppose to have his own place and move in the near future, would I be justified to refuse to pay my half of the mortgage till he moves out?
I'm thinking of taking this action as she is insisting that I pay half of the court fees for divorcing her on the grounds of adultery. It's a bit of [censored] for tat, and don't want to go down the expensive solicitor's route but she is showing her Asperger colours.
She might see this thread but I'm past caring about what she thinks and need to some closure to move on and would like as clean a break as possible so I have as little to do with her as possible.
Thanks in advance,
Moving On
I would say that you really do need specialist legal advice here, especially regarding your mother's house. However, do be prepared to give a little, what you lose in value you could easily save in solicitors fees. I would say that your ex has stated her position, but that should be a starting position, not what you finally agree on. I would get contact sorted beforehand if possible and then have it included as part of the divorce settlement.