Hi
So glad I found this forum. Already learnt so much from reading the posts.
I need some help please. Contact stopped between my daughter and I about 4.5 yrs ago for a number of reasons. While it went ahead, coontact was amazing and we had a wonderful relationship. There are absolutely no adverse issues for the courts to worry about, apart from how long it has been since I last saw her. I know that I will have to answer some serious questions to the courts, her mum and most importantly my daughter. She is now over 7 yrs old.
The problem is I do not have an address for her mum and despite making numerous attempts I have not been able to find any form of contact details for her. I have approached private investigators, her previous solicitors, even the police. But no one can help provide an address to write to. I understand that this is because she would rather contact did not resume.
My intention is to fill C100 and send to the court which previously dealt with our case, with the hope that the court would start proceedings to locate the ex wife's address and contact her directly. Do you think this is the right thing to do? If no, would be grateful for any comments and suggestions on next steps.
Thanks
A
Hi there and welcome 🙂
There can be all sorts of reasons why families become seperated. Four and a half years is a long time in the life of a seven year old and much will have changed, your ex may be in a relationship, and there may be another man in their lives. You will be a stranger to her and it will take a long time for you to re-establish yourself in her life. If you take it to court and it is agreed that you can have contact with her, this is likely to be indirect contact initially, that would include writing letters, and later on, phone calls. If this is successful then short periods of supervised contact at a contact centre is likely to be the next step. You will need patience and perseverance, but if all goes well then eventually you should be able to have a relationship with her once again. However, also bear in mind the possibility of rejection as she may not want to have contact with you, and the court may decide that the distress caused to her is not in her best interests. If the seperation four and a half years ago was acrimonious, then there could be objections from the mother, and this may have an influence on how your daughter reacts to you. I only point this out as it is best that you are prepared for every eventuality.
The decision wether to try and make contact again is entirely yours, but I would like to stress that if you do take this forward, you must be absolutely sure that you intend to stay in her life this time, no more opting out, no matter how hard it gets.
If you decide to go ahead with this then along with the C100 Contact Order, you will need to apply for a Seek and Find Order under section 33 of the Family Law Act 1989. The application is made on Form C4.
I cant imagine how my life would have been without my Dad in it, my children grew up without their Dad and I know they were hurt because of it.....Dads are important to their children and make a difference in their lives.
@Nannyjane - Thank you so much for your thorough reply and the advise.
I sent the C100 contact form, C4 Seek and Find form, plus the form which enquires why no mediation took place yet. I have now been given a court date for the 4th of March. I am preparing my statement and polishing it so that it is an accurate representation of why contact needs to start, and a true reflection of reasons for my absence for the last years.
Questions:
1-What happens if my ex-partner does not attend the court? Will the hearing get re-scheduled? I am going by the expectation that the court will locate her and serve her the paperwork. But in the worst case scenario she may choose to avoid the hearing!!!
2-If she does turn up which is the most likely outcome?
3I expect I will have the opportunity to speak with her and her solicitor before the hearing and try to come to an agreement. I will also need to the CAFCASS officer.
4-If that does not happen, the judge may offer us mediation, which would be very useful. what if she does not agree to that either?
5- If she does not agree to any contact or any mediation, what will the judge do?
6-Can/Will the judge make a decision to allow contact on that date?
Thanks in advance for your help