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(@needhelp83)
Estimable Member Registered

My advice would be to try and get some free legal advice some solicitors offer this only for half an hour but it's a start weight up your options.family courts aren't great but at least if you get a court order it would be on paper when you can see him and you can enforce the order if she doesn't.

I agree with Bill337 I wouldn't hang around to long take action now you might regret it if you don't.

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Posted : 23/10/2019 4:07 am
 MT81
(@MT81)
Active Member Registered

Court really is a last resort for me, i absolutely dont want to do it but feel i have little choice as my ex wont be reasonable at all or discuss anything, I've always wanted to have a good relationship with her for our sons sake but sadly she just wants everything on her terms

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Topic starter Posted : 23/10/2019 10:44 am
 Toks
(@Toks)
Estimable Member Registered

Court is usually the last resort for most dads, if only for the cost and the anxiety. It took me over two years from first considering it to actually pursuing it. When I did actually go for it, I did so completely guilt-free, as all other options had been exhausted, and my sons mother was in the process of moving to the other side of the country as a her final answer to my wish to increase the amount of time my son and I spent together.

In most respects, I wish I'd done this sooner as I could see even at the time that her intransigence was unlikely to change as in her mind our son 'belonged' to her, and the status quo and my inability to change it (without resorting to the 'nuclear option' - Court) simply reinforced this screwy mentality. The main advantage for waiting in the end was it gave time for the then newly minted Child Arrangements act to come into use (2014), which gives more emphasis on the importance of both parents being involved with their children.

If she isn't budging, even in terms of planning future fairer sharing of time, then it does seem best to let her know that as you can't reach agreement on this, you'd like to invite her to discuss this through mediation first, after which you carry on to court if the disagreement persists. I'd be wary of anything agreed within mediation, as they can't be enforced, though I do remember my solicitor saying if my mediation worked we could apply for a Judge to ratify and sign the agreement. I'm not sure how correct that is, as my mediation didn't work and we proceeded.

Good luck with it all.

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Posted : 23/10/2019 10:33 pm
(@bill337)
Illustrious Member

Court really is a last resort for me, i absolutely dont want to do it but feel i have little choice as my ex wont be reasonable at all or discuss anything, I've always wanted to have a good relationship with her for our sons sake but sadly she just wants everything on her terms

if/when this does go to court, make sure the order is as future-proof as possible. cover everything from school holidays, to holidays abroad and passports issues.

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Posted : 23/10/2019 10:55 pm
 MT81
(@MT81)
Active Member Registered

Just wanna say cheers to anyone who's replied,really appreciate all the advice and to know im not only one whose had these kind of issues, all i want is to spend a decent amount of time with my little lad and to have an active roll in his upbringing, there are so many dads out there who for some reason arnt interested in seeing or providing for their kids so fair play to the dads that do care and fight for them

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Topic starter Posted : 23/10/2019 11:20 pm
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