Hi Guys, looking to see if anyone can offer some help or places to look for help / support. Im in the middle of a separation which is going so wrong, i have just spent the last hour in tears to the samaritans just letting it all out. I f--ked up and i'm about to loose everything and i can't deal with it how i should be, I'm causing arguments instead of calming things down, i know i NEED to change but i just can't.
I don't feel i have anyone that i can turn to so everything is just building up inside of me, 9/10 decisions i make are wrong, I'm still living in the same house sleeping in another room and if I'm honest its because i just can't except its over, i know i should move out but i just can't bring myself to do it. I just can't let go, I'm scared, lonely and often my head goes to dark places, but i don't have the bottle to do anything serious (to myself not others). I play games looking for reactions and more often than not they backfire on me.
We tried marriage guidance but that didn't work it eventually turned into a sales pitch from the councilors so wary of going down that route.
Any help appreciated.
Hi
I think the first thing you need to do is to go and see your GP to see what help you can get there. I think you also could do with investigating a counsellor to look into your own behaviour - recognising triggers that set you off, and then learning how to deal with those may be a way to allow you to move on.
Hi there
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling, it's good that you have reached out to the Samaritans and to us here on the forum.
As actd has said, its really important that you get some help from your GP, they can put you on a short course of anti depressants, or perhaps refer you to a counsellor... just something to help you get through this bad patch.
At least you are able to recognise what you need to change and that's a good first step. It's also a good idea to be kind to yourself, relationship break ups are difficult and you must try not to put yourself down... we all handle things badly at times, nobody is perfect, so give yourself a break and don't be so hard on yourself.
It might help if you can talk to your partner and explain how you've been feeling, just be honest and if you feel that you need to apologise that's a good starting point.
Talking is good, don't bottle it all up, there's usually someone around on the forum if you need to talk, or just drop by and vent, that's good too.
Take care of yourself.
Hi. It gets better. I don't know if it gets better for good but it gets better after the dreadful start. My wife left in October. In the month or so following I don't think I was completely sane and I was researching methods of suicide online. I went to the doctor and got anti-depressants. Then I started to pick up. For a week I eat a packet of bacon every day. I learned that the odds of messing up a suicide are 30 to 1. I went cold turkey on the anti depressants at Christmas. Now I don't have a clue what the future holds. I have a better diet with more fruit and veg but still a lot of meat. I may still be a bit crazy but I look fairly normal and I'm not suicidal except just the odd passing thought. The point I am making is: you can get through it. It seems impossible at the start but it changes. It was being told I was a broken man that helped me: that night I bought the bacon and started to get unbroken. The anti-depressants helped but it also helped to get off them once the good work had been done. In your position I would do a 180 as best you can to get your self-respect back. For some reason this situation seems to bring out the bully in all our wives and it doesn't help to give 'em the satisfaction. Then make sure you eat and take it one day at a time. I'm not being flippant about the bacon sandwiches: it really was the turning point for me. Good luck, mate.
Jamie - how's it going for you?
Sincerely hope you managed to find peace of mind. The whole ordeal is truly a baptism of fire but surround yourself with good people who will lift you up. Keep yourself busy and time will itself make things better god willing....