Hi All,
Can my ex-partner demand that I see my son on set days of the week if I do shift work? I am a paramedic and I work a 4 on 4 off (two days then two night) on a rolling rota which makes it impossible for me to have fixed days of the week that I see my son.
Ever month I provide a rota that shows when I'm working and when my son is staying, it also helps my ex as she can plan her work around mine (she works 18 hours per week). This has worked fine until recently and she is now stating that she wants to work every Wednesday and Thursday and that is that. This obviously has an effect on my son as there will be times when I am working week days only and he would be have to stay with my wife and only spend time with me in the evening for an hour or two before going to bed when I finish a day shift, and not at all when I work a night shift as I sleep in the afternoon before a night shift and will be in bed in the morning as he goes off to school.
Thank you in advance for your time.
Hi there
She can try, but you have to work to provide for yourself and your family and the authorities would consider her demands unreasonable.
Lots of parents work and if you can't have him because of work commitments then she would need to place him in a nursery. Alternatively if your wife is free to look after him that may be a better option, if you can agree with the mother that on the weeks that you are working on the Wednesday and Thursday, that you can have extra time with him on your days off. It would help her as there wouldn't be nursery fees to pay.
If you can't work it out between you, your first step would be to attend mediation to try and get this sorted. Here's a link
www.nfm.org.uk
If mediation fails or she refuses to attend then you could apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. Court should always be the last resort and as your arrangement has been working more or less, it would be bestrode try and sort it out together.
Best of luck
The courts do know that people work odd shifts and will try to incorporate that into an order (if it goes to court), and your shift pattern is predictable so it can be planned ahead. I would also think that since you are in one of the essential services, the courts are not going to expect you to change your work patterns.