Well done DAG! This is a fantastic result and, as Darren states, it's evidence that the sysytem works. Eventually.
Six years is far too long for anyone to have to wait for a fair ruling. I imagine that this could have been resolved to DAG's satisfaction a lot earlier if courts were actually willing to impose genuine penalties on resident parents for being obstructive. This kind of situation will keep happening until resident parents know that there's a genuine consequence to unacceptable and obstructive behaviour.
I think solicitors who behave in a similar manner should be held in contempt of court and face some kind of penalty too.
Rant over.
Hi
I came across your story in the forum and I felt really chuffed for you and inspired me to try to do something about my situation. Well done for fighting through and finally getting what you wanted and I hope things are still going well with you and your daughter 🙂
A contact order has been in place for my daughter who's 8 for 4 years now. I see her every other weekend (Fri - Sun evening) and some of the holidays but not half. Like your original order, alternate weekends stop in school holidays so if my weekend falls when the school holidays have just started for example, I miss out and there's quite often big gaps of 20 odd days in contact at certain points of the year.
The order does state at the end 'and any additional contact that can be agreed' but so far my ex has agreed to what equates to 3 or 4 days over the last 4 years. She'll either flatly refuse and say they have plans even though I ask months in advance or for example I'll ask for an additional day and she'll let me see her for an hour or just half the day so that she can be seen to be 'showing willing'. I never get a 'yeah that's fine' and don't think I ever will. She has to be in control similar to your ex.
I usually collect my daughter at 4 on a Friday and I've asked for some time now to collect straight from school but my ex again flatly refuses. The school are useless at keeping me informed and I never see any homework set. Christmas and Easter is another issue as I've never been able to spend them with my daughter since she was a baby.
I've spent an awful lot of money on legal fees in the past with the divorse and agreeing a contact order so I'm not in a hurry to go back to court again but she refuses to meet or try mediation.
My question really is is it worth applying for a variation in the order to ask for half all school holidays, if Bank holidays or inset days are either side of my weekend then I should have extended contact, alternate Christmasses and the right to collect from school or is the court likely to dismiss it and say 'well it already states additional contact in the order so sort it out between you'.
I really feel like I'm not seeing enough of her and can't influence her upbringing enough and I think it's wrong that dads should just have to accept the time they're given in the order and that's it.
Hi there
I think it’s reasonable to ask for the existing order to be varied, although it’s impossible to predict outcomes, most bog standard orders include pick ups from school, shared Christmas and birthdays and equal share of holidays.
Think of why the changes would be better for your child and use that to argue your case. For example, picking her up from school will give you the opportunity to get more involved in her education, so that you can help her with homework and have some input into school events and activities.
If you haven’t already done so, it might be a good idea to put your requests in writing, by text or emails that you have a record of her refusal to agree extra time.
It’s not necessary to instruct a solicitor to make an application, self representing is doable and we have had many members that have done so with much success.
Mediation is your first step, it try corresponding with her first, if she won’t budge then instigate mediation as a first step.
Best of luck