Hi F4father, you and Macmyers are at different stages. Macmyers had done their fact finding and is onto the final hearing. They are very different types of hearings in my experience. In the fact finding the other side is almost certainly going to try to make you look bad. It is likely that from the perspective of your ex that is the point the hearing (mine was the same. Plus it keeps you separated from your child for longer; wastes time and money; and wears you down. It is an awful ploy in a lot of cases). However, for the perspective of the judge they just want to know if the allegations are true or not. So if your ex and her team go in too hard and over the top and you remain calm, honest, factual and pleasant they will look bad. See if you can get some friends and family to mock question you, see how you come across and perform.
Hi there,
OK so it seems like in your case there are only allegations from your ex at you (none from you about her).
You have responded which all seems proper process wise. Make sure you know the allegations and responses word for word. I had several instances where my ex's barrister casually said I said something which I had not. I pulled them up on it in a respectful way, we went through the written statements and they were corrected. This happened four times and these people are very smart experts so I think it could have been intentional.
You have submitted your questions to the judge. I suppose this is where the "evidence" I was referring to would be. Eg. Txt messages, email, CCTV a photo. to back up what you were saying... BUT only if there is evidence of this sort. Evidence is also your statement (response) and statements at court. I didn't mean to worry you that you need to have Txt messages, emails, CCTV a photos etc... But if you do have that, my advice would be to send that into the judge (where you sent your questions). The judges do not like things being introduced on the day and may not allow it.
I would still open up a formal dialogue with the ex's solicitors. Ask them if they have all they need and ask for submission deadlines. They are professional and if you ask them a direct question like this they will likely answer and then you have covered all bases.
Therapy: Talking therapies on NHS is free. If you can afford to pay for a therapist and feel you need it I would say it is money well spent. There are a few apps on meditation (it isn't cross legged humming stuff) that often have long free trials. I would try anything back when I was where you are and I was surprised how much that helped me. Or of course speak to your doctor if you need to they may prescribe something for this period in your life. Anyway, see how you go, a few options there.
Thanks for the brief reply. I don't need any therapies for now I'm good thanks.
I don't understand why you asking to have formal dialog with my Ex-solicitors ?? They will be in court to prove that I'm a bad person then how come I should have word with him.
My uncle solicitor said ex-solicitors shouldn't know that you are sending any evidence etc.
Well my hearing is end of this month. I will send hard print out copies of questions and evidences to court next week.
The only concern is I don't loose temper in court if her ex-solictor ask me about allegation or behave like I'm a culprit.
secondly i hope judge will not be a female.
from the start - initial hearing solicitor- female, second hearing judge female , caffcass officer female , third hearing district judge also female.
all these FEMALES didn't ask or listen to me anything ALL behaved with me like I'm a convicted criminal ...
anyway finger crossed
I'm positive.
let see.
Thanks again.
Hey there,
It is of course fine if you don't wish to contact your ex's solicitors and question them. Every case is different and it seems your case is working direct through the judge (or their people at least). Seems like you are on top of things which is great because a delay because of some admin error/missing is the worst.
The other side will obviously try to make you out as a culprit. That is what they are being paid to do. And tomorrow they'll do it to someone else, and the next day and so on. It is simply their job. Don't take it personally (easy to say right?). The Barrister my ex had overstepped the mark a few times. I did not react badly to it and it was mentioned in the judges judgement (both the barrister being OTT and my good reaction). Therefore, try to see any OTT attempt to make you out as culprit as an opportunity to shine and show you are above that.
Side note: I had 4 judges. 2 female, 2 male. All were good, 3 were excellent and the best was a female. Some of the best people in power I know or have worked with are female. Don't worry if the judge is male or female, honestly. If you did have a bad experience with a female judge, it's wasn't because they were female. Also note, that judges are very different from CAFCASS, in fact, in my experience most the population are thankfully different to CAFCASS.
Good Luck
Guys
I'm really frustrated and helpless and in grief ..... the court has second time postponed my hearing and they haven't given me new date yet.
what are my rights ? can i write to BBC or prime minster or who ???
can anyone tell me what is the men respect in this country ???
it will be 3 years in November 2022 i haven't seen my son ...
please help .......
@f4father thats terrible. what was reason for postponing hearing? I would suggest to keep chasing up court. phone and email and ask for next available hearing date.
Absolute y awful! The courts are saturated (not helped by soooooo many false allegations which are not punished even when showed to be malicious) and underfunded and frankly the admin errors I experienced were unbelievable.
Stick with it though, you'll get there. Be relentless. On one delay I had I took the courts through their ombudsman process. It does take weeks because you need to give defined periods for them to respond. On the eve before I could take it to a high level they "sorted it out" magically and slotted me in so I "only" lost yet another 6 weeks with my child not another additional 6 months!
I don't remember the name and each region is probably different but have a google.
one solicitor told me you are representing yourself and you don't have any solicitor representation thats why court is not taking your case serious ....
another thing he said if you have solicitor he have talk to ex solicitor etc etc or atleast get interm court order...
is this ALL true ???????
please advice.....
i talk to court they said call in 2 weeks time to find out the next hearing date.. i called today and still there is no news of new court hearing ......
she said call next week to find out ...... 🙁
anyone can help please ???????
@f4father hi, thats very sad to hear. you could follow this complaints procedure but it looks very lengthy: https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/hm-courts-and-tribunals-service/about/complaints-procedure
other option is keep ringing court regularly and ask for next available date. sometimes they cancel other hearings, so dates free up.