Hi there,
I'm a dad of two beautiful little girls,
My first Is 6 this year and me and her mother seperated 2 Years ago. I see her regular and pay my ex maintenance for our daughter.
I'm also a dad to my second beautiful daughter who is 4 months old. Myself and her mother are what seems to be going through a break up !,
I'm trying to resolve this bad situation but the outcome doesn't look very good if I'm being completely honest.
I'd like to know if there is any support out there for us dad's that may be in similar situations or have at the very least, been through them.
I'm struggling to deal with all of this and I feel like I'm going out of my mind.
I just don't know how to cope with all of this,
If it goes bad then I'm gunna be a dad ( which I love being ), but then I'm gunna be on my own only seeing them both as much as I can. I need help so please pass me on any information, websites, help groups - anything please.
Thank you.
Have you considered Relate to see if there is anything you can do to save your current relationship?
Hi there
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling, all relationships have good and bad times.... I hope you can get through this and get back on track.
Actd has suggested couples counselling, Relate can provide this by phone or email too these days. Here's a link to their website
www.relate.org.uk
Oops! Didnt mean to press the submit button!
Unfortunately, there aren't many Dads groups, but you could try googling for your area and see what comes up.
Of course you can always post here and talk about things....and if things get too much it might be a good idea to go and have a chat with your GP.
Have you tried talking to your partner about this, maybe she is feeling the same way. It's very difficult when you're feeling low, but it's at times like this that extra effort is required. Your baby is only 4 months old and having a newborn can put a lot of strain on a relationship...all the interrupted nights take their toll. Perhaps you need to refresh your relationship and bring a little romance back into it.
Best of luck and keep trying.
1. My first step would be to immerse yourself in a supportive community - going through this alone is the last thing you need.
Surround yourself with loving and caring people who, while they are sensitive and understanding of your current situation... they aren't afraid of calling you out for wallowing in your pity party/feeling sorry for yourself and not taking steps towards living a deeper life from this point on.
Don't hear me wrong, it is absolutely okay to mourn and grieve the loss. But as men we also respond to being challenged to become the man we are capable of and called to be.
2. I would follow it up with creating a vision for your life. There's an interesting concept where a lot of successful people... they know exactly where they want to be/where they're going/where they're going to get to LONG before they get there.
That image and expectation in your head of the kind of man you wanted to be when you 'grew up'? (Don't fool yourself, we all have that vision in our head) Define it, and begin to look to see what kinds of things you should work on (grow in or develop) in order to get closer to being that person...
Hopefully this helps you take the next step. Thoughts and prayers are with you, Martinbenn01.